


Course Correction

by brightstarlings (gingerpunches), gingerpunches



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Aquariums, Butterflies, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Inspired by Art, Kid Fic, Kisses, M/M, Minor Injuries, Trans V (Cyberpunk 2077), V is scared he is too rough to have a family, and kerry is trying to be a better dad, and now its getting out of hand, kerry's kids are so cute, lots of them - Freeform, louise is a good mom, ted and kim are demons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 30,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29752614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingerpunches/pseuds/brightstarlings, https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingerpunches/pseuds/gingerpunches
Summary: V digs in his back pocket and produces a truly sad sight — his phone with a bullet hole shot clean through it. And then he produces another, bulkier phone from his other pocket, a smile ticking at his lips at the truly incredulous expressions on Kerry and Louise’s faces.“Panam lent me hers,” V says, shaking the phone without a bullet hole in it. His phone he hands to Kim, who takes it and starts flipping it over in her hands, inspecting it. “Saved my life, probably.”“Doesn’t look like an accident to me,” Ted grumbles. It’s the first thing he’s said since V arrived, and instantly all attention swings to him.Kim turns on her heel and hooks her arm through Ted’s and tugs him forward. “And this is Teddy! Look, isn’t this crazy? How’d this save you, mister...?”“V,” V says.Kim tilts her head, a frown overtaking her face. “Why do you go by just a letter?”
Relationships: Kerry Eurodyne/V
Comments: 19
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is inspired entirely by clara's art on tumblr. please go check it out, its so cute and amazing. now this is a monster thats turning into three or four parts, and im not even finished with the other fic. im so sorry

“Lou, listen —“

_ “No, you listen, _ ” Louise says sharply. Kerry knows better than to sigh, but it’s a near thing.  _ “You need to see your kids. It’s been a year. Their birthdays are coming up and I know it’d mean a lot if you saw them.” _

This time, Kerry sighs and rubs his face with his hands. “Yeah, I know, but I... I got some things I gotta take care of. I can’t just have you guys over.”

“ _ We’re already coming. I bought tickets — we’ll be there tonight.” _

“Tonight — Lou, I can’t! I — fuck, what am I —“

Fuck. The spare rooms were packed with boxes and exercise equipment that never got used, and he hasn’t ordered groceries since last week. There was a terrifying amount of guns and ammunition sitting upstairs, V’s equipment room still hadn’t been fully installed yet, and all of V’s Quadras except the  _ Javalina _ were in the driveway. V was out in the Badlands helping Panam with a Raffen problem and wouldn’t be back until at least tomorrow — 

“ _ What, you got someone staying over there? _ ” Louise says, her tone suddenly teasing. She must have taken his stunned silence for what it would normally be — embarrassment — but she couldn’t have been further from the truth this time. 

He can’t tell her, not yet. Not that she’d mind — exactly the opposite — but he doesn’t want V involved. He was still recovering from getting separated from Johnny, and only recently getting back into mercwork. V had enough to worry about, and Kerry’s messy family was the last thing he wanted to twist V up in. 

“No, no,” Kerry manages after a tight moment. He can clean everything up. He can make the house presentable. “It’s alright, I... just gotta get some stuff together. The kids’ rooms are full of shit, and I gotta get food...”

Louise snorts. “ _ Fine. Meet you at the airport?” _

“Yeah, yeah. See you, Lou.”

_ “It’s alright if you have someone, Kerry. I hope you know that, _ ” Louise says softly. Kerry hesitates with his thumb over the end call button, breathing slow, trying to calm down.

“Yeah,” he says. “I know, it’s not that, just... just see you at the airport, okay?”

Louise hums. “ _ Alright. See you in a few hours.” _

She hangs up. Kerry immediately tries dialing V, but after a long six seconds watching the little candid of V smiling in bed ring out, he hangs up and tries again. V doesn’t answer, so Kerry shoots off a frustrated string of texts to try and get him home before shoving away from the couch and going upstairs.

V... doesn’t let Kerry near his guns. And Kerry knows next to nothing about anything besides pistols and revolvers. So when he rounds the divider wall separating both halves of the second floor to the bar, he has to stop for a second to breathe at the sight of the truly immaculate collection of weapons V has collected before setting to work.

V, thankfully, keeps everything locked and unloaded. His equipment room was only halfway finished, but it had a locking door, so Kerry hauls everything inside and twists the bolt before activating the bio lock. It hisses shut, the tempered glass fogging into blackness. Kerry rubs his face and turns on his heel, making his way back downstairs to the kids’ rooms.

They haven’t visited in any real capacity in a year, so both Ted and Kim’s rooms are packed with boxes. Mostly shit from Kerry’s early career, stuff he couldn’t fathom to part from and musical equipment that was too valuable to sell. The only place to put it all is the foyer across the first floor that hardly gets used because of how awfully bright it is at all times of the day, so Kerry spends the next miserable two hours pulling all the boxes out and carrying them across the villa. He tries to stack them neatly, and once he’s done, he tosses a sheet over them all. It’s not like they’ll be missing out on this one foyer when he had fucking three.

At this point, Kerry wouldn’t care so much how the house looked now. Louise usually slept upstairs in his bed while he took the couch downstairs in the entertainment room, but this time, the thought of having her there where he and V slept felt wrong. At least, without stripping the whole bed and throwing everything in the washer — he may have been a complete asshole, but he wasn’t a prick. He wasn’t about to let his ex-wife sleep on the bed where he fucked his input five nights a week without making it smell like he did the exact opposite. 

On the same coin, he goes through all the bedrooms and cleans for the first time in fucking years. They’re mostly just dusty, but it’s too late to call a maid and he can’t wait for robotic service in a couple hours. He replaces the bedsheets, dusts, vacuums, wipes down the bathrooms, then goes through the whole house with a rag and spray bottle to make sure the place was clean and looked like only he lived there. He glances at his phone in the meantime, and curses only a little when he sees that V hasn’t gotten back to him.

V’s fine. It wasn’t a dangerous job he was on — Panam had made sure of it. V was still weak from recovery and needed time to get back into the swing of things, and this was more reconnaissance than anything. Maybe V didn’t have service. Maybe he forgot his phone in the car. He was alright, and Kerry leaves it alone to take out all the trash when he realizes he forgot one major thing.

The Quadras. Four of them parked in a gleaming, pretty line at the end of his driveway, his own Guineverre sitting pretty at the head of the parade of muscle cars. Kerry sighs, drops all the trash in the trash bin, and turns back inside. He can just say they’re his, even though they’re wildly outside his own taste and Louise will know that. At least the kids will think they’re cool.

_ Yeah, the kids thinking I’m cool. What a fucking joke. _

After scrubbing off the grime from cleaning all afternoon and switching the laundry, he redresses the beds and finally sends out the vacuum and mop bots. The villa was clean before — neither V or Kerry were filthy people, Kerry’s fantastic streak of depression notwithstanding — but it looks less like a rockstar and paid killer live here, unlike before. It’s safe for the kids, at least. And safe from Louise’s judgement.

(He hopes.)

Kerry returns to his phone, hoping against hope that V has finally gotten back, but it’s to no avail. Not even an “Ok” or “Sorry”, which is making Kerry increasingly nervous. But V is a big boy, and if he wasn’t available to talk —

“He’s fine,” Kerry mumbles to himself. He pockets his phone, breathing deep. “He’s fine. He’s just, I dunno, sniping heads off drug runners or something.”

Well, he hopes. 

The drive to the airport is fucking nuts, because it’s a Friday and of course Louise would plan to come on a Friday. Louise texts that they’ve landed when he’s twenty minutes away, giving him enough warning to navigate through the confusing thoroughfares up to the pickup lanes on the second level of the airport. It takes three loops around the same area before Louise and the kids finally emerge from the packed sidewalk, waving him down before he nearly passes them to make a fourth loop around.

“This’ fucking crazy, you know that?” he says when he gets out after stopping. Louise gives him a level look, making him bite his tongue. “Right — sorry. This is  _ effing _ crazy, you know that?”

“We know you curse, Kerry,” Ted grumbles. Kerry bites his tongue again, this time to keep from snapping back. Ted already had problems — he didn’t need to inherit his father’s anger issues as well.

“Just meant it’s crazy traffic, is all,” he says, calmer. He waves the trunk open in the same motion he hugs Louise, kissing her cheek. “It’s nice to see you.”

“And you too!” Kim says. She flings her arms around Kerry’s waist, hugging him tightly. Kerry melts a little and hugs her back — Kim was easier to get along with, and he’s really not sure why.

“Been a minute, hasn’t it?” Louise laughs. “C’mon, kids. Load up your stuff and let’s get out of the way.”

Kim beams up at Kerry. “I brought you something,” she whispers conspiratorially. 

Kerry snorts and lifts her luggage up while keeping an arm around her. “Not a guitar, I hope. Y’know I got plenty of those.”

Kim shakes her head. “No, you’ll see. It’s a surprise.”

“Ha, alright,” he says. He sets her luggage in the trunk alongside Louise’s, then lets Kim go to help Ted with his, who glares. Kerry has to fight to keep the smile on his face as Ted continues to fume.

“Alright, you and your sister in the back,” Kerry says. “I wasn’t able to get food, so I’ll order us something when we get back.” 

“Typical,” Ted hisses. Kerry ignores him, instead holding Kim’s hand as she climbs into the back bench of his car. Louise gives him a sympathetic look when Ted follows her in, which Kerry returns with a sigh.

“Just give him time,” Louise says softly. “Maybe you guys can do something together this weekend.”

“Kidding me? Kid hates my guts, and I don’t exactly blame him,” Kerry sighs.

Louise shakes her head with a rueful smile. “I think you have it in you. You’ll see.”

Cryptic, but alright. Kerry shuts the wing behind her and trots around the car, climbing in. Kim is already chatting about all the things they could get up to in the next week —  _ “Week?! _ ” Kerry coughs, with a glare from Louise — but her enthusiasm is calming.

It’s been so long since he’s seen them, even with Ted’s venom, it felt like a piece of himself returned.

“So what do you kids want for dinner?” Kerry says after a long moment. Traffic has already gotten worse on the freeway back to North Oak, bumper to bumper and moving slowly. Kim perks up, her hands coming up to grip the back of his seat as she sits forward.

“We don’t get a lot of American food back on the island,” she says. “Could we do burgers or something? Oh, and pizza...”

“Baby, those are two different things,” Louise laughs. 

“Yeah, but it’s early enough! We could do both...”

“Gettin’ a growth spurt maybe?” Kerry says, teasing. Kim pounds on the back of his seat with a huff.

“Don’t say that!”

“Just an observation —“

“What would you know about us?” Ted cuts in. Kerry wishes cars still had rearview mirrors, because it’d make glaring at the kid easier without wholly taking his eyes off the road. As it is, Ted’s attitude cuts through the mood good enough, making Kerry turn around. It’s not like they were moving anyway.

“You wanna pick then, Ted?” Kerry says, forcing lightness in his tone. Louise shoots him a warning look that he heeds once again — she’s with them more, and knows Ted’s boundaries.

Ted, however, is very much his father’s son, and doesn’t back down in the slightest. “Gonna actually act like a father this time, or are you gonna fuck around like all the other times?”

“Theodore,” Louise warns. Kerry feels his lip curl.

“No, let him finish,” Kerry says. He meets Ted’s startled look levelly, challenging him. The whole car goes silent almost immediately.

“Kerry,” Louise sighs. “Don’t.”

“No, no. It’s fine. Go ahead, kid. Get it out now while we’re here.”

Ted looks at his sister, who shakes her head, clearly as surprised as he is at Kerry’s acquiescence to the fight. Ted turns back to Kerry, frozen, until life slowly flows back through his limbs and expression, his brow crumpling in fury again.

“Fine,” Ted growls. “I’m not scared.”

“Then shoot your shot. I’m not either.”

Ted’s frown deepens. “How drunk are you?”

Kerry scoffs. Yeah. He really had been a deadbeat before, hadn’t he? “Ain’t. Ain’t high or doped up, either.”

Ted bites his lip. “Any groupies at home or anything?”

_ If my months-long relationship with a mercenary didn’t count, no. _ “No. Just a cat, I guess.”

Kim perks up beside Ted. “You got a cat? Ohh, what’s their name?”

“Nibbles,” Kerry laughs. “You’ll like her.” 

Ted deflates a bit at the sudden change in mood, and at Kerry’s ease at answering his questions. The truth was further from it — Kerry was terrified — but he doesn’t let it show. Ted deserved more than that, and he doesn’t have a good track record in being a good dad. He’s determined to start now if he could help it, even if Ted was wary.

“Right,” Ted mumbles. “Fine. I — I guess that’s fine.”

Kerry turns back towards the road. They haven’t moved an inch. “Good. I really have nothing to hide, Ted, so you’re welcome to say what’s on your mind.”

Ted is quiet in the back seat. That’s fine, too. Kerry won’t pretend this little showdown proves anything — they still had years of pathological behaviour to work through. 

Louise gives him a look when he turns back around. “Really kicked all those habits so quickly, huh?” she asks. “What happened between last year and this year?”

_ I got my ass kicked by the digital ghost of my best friend from fifty years ago, and then I fell in love with the guy that carried him around and who almost died from it, _ Kerry wants to say, but he doesn't. Instead he shrugs, aiming for nonchalance that Louise seems surprised by.

"Got tired of my own bullshit, I guess," he says. "Got tired of... everyone hating me, too."

Louise's surprise softens. "I saw the screamsheets. Were you really --"

"Yeah." God, had he been in it. "But not anymore. Not for a long time, now."

Louise reaches between them and pats his hand on the steering wheel. They've started moving again, but he takes it and squeezes her fingers.

"Good," she says. "I'm proud of you, Kerry."

"Thanks," he says. "I am too. I really am."

She kisses his knuckles and drops his hand. He really wishes, in a small, private part of himself, that things had worked out between her and him. That he'd been able to get his head out of his ass and see how beautiful and important she really was -- all three of them were. They deserved better, sure, and he wouldn't want to put them through the years of depression and crisis he'd lived through to get here, but...

He'd loved her, once upon a time, and Kerry feels that same feeling swell up under his sternum. Warm, fond, and much more familial now, but still there. He smiles at her and she smiles back, just as surprised yet bright. She's probably thinking the same thing, too.

The three of them -- and sometimes Ted -- start arguing about dinner again, this time in Filipino, which warms Kerry through. Louise hadn't been so sure they should learn it (hardly much of the world spoke it, anyway) but it'd been important to Kerry, and he's relieved to know that they speak it as naturally as he does. Louise isn't quite so fluent, but she chimes in with more reasonable suggestions instead of shitty pizza from a corner place in downtown, and eventually they settle on an Italian restaurant that satisfies everyone's desires.

After picking up the food, Kerry takes them up to North Oak as darkness finally settles over the city. Thankfully (and a little worryingly), V's  _ Javalina _ is nowhere in sight when they pull up the drive, but the line of his Quadra's still catches the kids' eyes, and Louise's, when Kerry finally parks and gets out.

"Woah, look at them all!" Kim says. "Dad, I didn't know you were into muscle cars..."

Her raised brow and innocent smile makes Kerry nervous. He laughs, becoming even more nervous when Louise turns her own skeptical expression on him. 

"I, uh," he says. "I'm -- watchin' em, for a friend. He lost his apartment, so I got his cars here while he looks for a place."

A half-truth -- V really did lose his apartment while running around trying to save his goddamn life -- but it's the closest he feels he can get to reality without blowing everything up entirely. Louise seems suspicious, but she keeps her mouth shut as both Kim and Ted wander closer to the first car in the line, the  _ Cthulhu _ , cautious yet curious all the same.

"Can I drive it later?" Ted asks, surprising Kerry and Louise both. "I mean, if it's alright with your friend --"

"Uh, I'll have to ask, but sure," Kerry says with a shrug. Louise turns a look on him. "What?"

"He doesn't have his license," she says.

"Not too late to start, is it? I mean, you wanted us to spend time together."

Louise's expression softens. Ted turns a surprisingly hopeful look on Kerry that he manages to meet with an honest smile. 

"Ah, he won't mind," he says. "Sure, kid, whenever you want. Cooler than my car, I guess, huh?"

"Way cooler," Ted says. "It looks like a car, instead of... whatever you're driving."

Kerry snorts. "Right. Real nice of you, kid."

"I like your car," Kim says thoughtfully. She leads the way to the front door, which Kerry opens with the code when he gets close. "But your friend's cars are cooler." 

Kerry shakes his head. "Can't believe I'm gettin' shit on by my own kids."

"Language," Louise warns. 

"Sorry. Old habit."

"Kick it, like the others," she says. She raises a brow at the villa, looking around. "Kerry, since when has your place ever been so clean?"

_ Sorry, I had to hide the evidence of my secret boyfriend before you got here.  _ "Er, kicked it, as you said. Bad habits. I am an adult, you know."

Louise laughs. "Glad to see you're at least acting like it. See? Not a bad idea we came, then."

She leads the kids to the dining table next to the big wall of windows at the back of the first floor, waving for them to sit. She sets the bags of food down and begins taking out containers while Kerry retreats to the kitchen to get plates and silverware, taking a slow moment to himself to breathe through his nerves. It's fine. It's just his family. V hasn't texted back yet. They're still in the clear.

Kim dominates much of the conversation when they sit at one end of the table to eat, which no one seems to mind. A lot has happened since Kerry saw them last -- school, field trips, projects, fights with friends and childhood drama. Kim is doing well in middle school, getting good grades, and is experimenting with a few creative hobbies that makes Kerry's heart throb. Photography, painting, writing -- he's happy to see his own artistic heart has found its way into her, even if it's not with music. 

She's grown a bit, too, coming up to his chest now with long glossy hair that curls at the ends. She's still too young for cybernetics, so her appearance is still very much like his was when he was her age, with freckles dotting her dark skin and deep brown eyes wide under her manicured lashes. But she has her mother's face, with curved cheeks and a wide nose, and a smile that dazzles even when she isn't trying. Kerry wishes he remembers more of her growing up, and regrets being such an absent father through so much of what matters.

Ted is similarly naturally handsome, looking so oddly like Kerry when he was sixteen Kerry almost laughs. He carries much of Louise's natural beauty, too, and his fingers find beats only his body knows when he's talking or sitting silently. He won't admit it, but he's falling into music like Kerry did, leaning more towards jazz and classical training than Kerry ever did, but it's a singing heart all the same that Kerry is quietly proud of. When Kerry offers to buy a new sax for him because the keys on his current one are sticking, Ted begrudgingly agrees, which makes Kerry beam. 

_ Baby steps _ , he can hear Louise say in his head. Her smile is just as proud as she eats, winking when he turns his starstruck grin on her. He's finally getting somewhere.

Eventually, the jet lag gets to the kids, though, and Kerry goes out to bring all their luggage in while Louise helps clean up dinner. Still, V isn't home, and still, Kerry's phone has stayed achingly silent. Kerry stands outside behind his car and dials V four times, and when there's no answer, sends off another set of texts that would probably embarrass him if he weren't so desperate. 

_ Today, at 8:34 PM _

_ I'm really starting to get worried, V _

_ You need to text me back _

_ or send smoke signals. Fucking SOMETHING _

A hand dropping onto his shoulder nearly sends his phone skittering across the asphalt when he jumps at the contact. He spins around to find Louise standing there, brow raised, a knowing smirk on her face that is just this side of concern that Kerry nearly spills the beans right there.

"You're really bad at hiding how nervous you are, you know that?" she says. "You've barely let that phone out of your sight since we got here."

Kerry chews on his lip while slipping his phone into his pocket. "Look, it's... it's work-related. I got a new album getting ready to send out. I'm just worried."

"Kerry, this is not how you get about albums." Louise holds out her hand, palm-up, but Kerry refuses. She has no more power over him now than she did before, and he wasn't a child who needed his phone gone through, but it's a near thing. "Kerry," she says more sternly.

"What do you want me to say?" Kerry snaps. "It's just some -- some stupid thing --"

"Kerry Eurodyne, either you spit it out or I'm going to seriously lose my patience."

Kerry shuts up and breathes. He rubs his eyes with his fingers, digging into the sockets enough to see stars. God, he didn't know he had such a headache until now...

"Just tell me," Louise says, this time softer. She's no longer holding her hand out to him this time, and her expression is sad. He hates that on her, especially now. 

What would be the harm in saying anything now? She had her suspicions, and it's not like they were married anymore. She was in a new relationship, too, and they'd agreed her new fiance could help parent the kids as long as Kerry still had final say. And it wasn't like she was asking so that V would parent -- she was just asking because Kerry was obviously torn up about it.

Fuck, this was a mistake. "There's... look, there's someone I'm worried about, is all."

Louise finally drops her shoulders, relaxing. "Alright," she says. "Let's get everything inside and the kids to bed, and we can talk."

Kerry blinks. He hadn't even said who yet. "You're alright with that?"

"Kerry, you're a grown man, I'm sure you know what you're doing." Louise reaches up and pats his cheek, her smile turning amused. "Besides, I can tell you care. If this was a one-off thing, you wouldn't be ripping your hair out."

"Well, can't argue with that, I guess," he mutters.

"No, you can't. Now come on, they need their pajamas."

Kerry drags in the kids' stuff while Louise gets her own -- they really had packed for a week, fuck -- and drops everything at the doors of their rooms. Kim is in the shower, and Ted is poking through Kerry's guitars around the corner. He jumps away when Kerry and Louise come inside, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets as if he wasn't obviously near Kerry's musical equipment in the only part of the house he kept it all.

"Y'can play one, you know," Kerry tries. Ted glances away, turning up his nose. "It won't bite you."

"Don't need to follow in your footsteps, Kerry," Ted growls. "Not everything is about you."

Kerry bites his tongue. "Right. Well, the offer is there. Even if it's just to learn."

"Be nice to your father," Louise says, gentler. Ted eases under the hand she slides around his shoulders, but it's a very slight thing that he tries hard to hide from Kerry. "He's trying, for you and for Kim. Give him a chance?"

"It's been only a few hours," Ted says, "and you want me to be proud?"

"I said a chance," Louise says more sternly. "Not a free ride."

"Not gonna do anything like before, kid," Kerry sighs. "Seriously. Done with that crap." 

"Whatever. I guess we'll see."

Ted shrugs out from under Louise's hands and drags his luggage into his room. Kerry crosses his arms while Louise gives him an apologetic look.

"He'll come around," she says. 

Kerry shrugs. Yeah, he might, but he was sixteen already. The damage from what Kerry has done has already been wrought. Undoing it would take years, and Kerry doubts he'll make any significant progress in a single week. Especially now that he had to juggle V and his kids, too.

Kim, thankfully, isn't such a problem. Kerry helps Louise carry her things upstairs, and when they come back down, Kim is kneeling in the entertainment room with Nibbles nearby, sniffing her outstretched hand. She shoots a beaming grin at both her parents before Nibbles finally arches into her palm, purring like a motor boat.

"She's sooo pretty," Kim says. "I know sphinxes are considered really ugly, but she's so soft and nice. When did you get her?"

Kerry chances a glance at Louise to gauge her reaction before kneeling next to Kim and rubbing his fingers together. Nibbles turns her attention to him, curling around his knee while pushing her face against his wrist. He pets along the side of her body gently, scooping her up and standing with Kim beside him.

"He's my friend's cat," Kerry says carefully. He hands Nibbles to Kim, waiting until she has her securely in her arms before letting go. "She's really nice for a stray he took in. She wears sweaters when she's cold."

Kim gasps. "No way! That's so cute! Could we put one on her?"

Kerry smiles so wide his cheeks hurt. "Tomorrow, maybe. Now, it's time for bed."

Kim whines. "Seriously? But I slept on the plane..."

"And you'll sleep now," Kerry says. He takes Nibbles, letting her curl up in his arms before tugging Kim against his side in a hug. "C'mon. I cleaned your room."

"Fine," Kim sighs. "I really want to dress her tomorrow, though. You'll let me?"

Having Kim's big eyes aimed at him nearly makes Kerry melt. Wow, he really should have gotten his head out of his ass sooner. "Yeah, I will. Sleep first, dressing up the cat in the morning."

"Yes! Alright, goodnight mom, dad!"

She kisses Louise quickly, then dashes into her room with her luggage tugging behind her. Kerry tries not to feel too bad about Kim ignoring him so suddenly, but he's not a normal part of her nightly routine, so he lets it slide.

Louise touches his shoulder once Kim's door closes, getting his wary attention. "Wanna talk now?" she asks quietly.

Kerry rubs his face. He was really gonna do this, wasn't he. "Yeah. Let me just -- try a couple more times?" 

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. Louise nods wordlessly, pursing her lips, then gestures with her head for him to follow. He does, up the stairs and around the partition separating his bedroom from the rest of the second floor. He'd changed the sheets and cleaned up everything of V's in here, but when he sits down, he can still smell V as if he were beside him right then.

Instead of V, though, Louise gently lowers herself to his left and waits patiently while Kerry dials V several times on speaker. The holo rings out, over and over and over again, and this time instead of a text, Kerry leaves a voicemail for Louise's sake. 

"I really need you to pick up your goddamn phone and answer me," Kerry says through a harsh breath. "I know you got shit happening right now, and I know you're out in the middle of fucking nowhere, but I -- there's -- I need you home for something. Something important. So if you can call me back, no matter how late or early, that'd be fucking fantastic. Please. Just call back.

He decides to leave the normal platitudes off the end of the message and hangs up. He can't bring himself to toss the phone no matter how angry he is, but it's a near thing, and Louise gently takes it from him before he really can with an unreadable look on her face.

"Is this someone I need to be worried about?" Louise asks gently. "Should I be worried about you?"

Kerry blanches. "Fuck, no no," he says quickly. "No, V is -- he's -- fuck." He breathes in deep, trying to steady himself. God, he should have just said something in the beginning. "He's a merc. A mercenary. He does... really shady shit sometimes, but not without precedent, and he's got a good head on his shoulders. He's not a bad person, Lou."

Louise doesn't look quite so convinced, but she nods. "So he... hurts people."

"Yeah," Kerry sighs. "Sometimes kills them."

Louise nods again, once, sharply. 

"I really, really need you to not hate him, Lou."

"I'm just worried," Louise says. "You say he has a good head on him, but that could mean a lot of things, Kerry. Do you know what he really gets up to? If what you're being told is the truth?"

Fuck, he really had to get into it, didn't he? "He... had something crazy happen to him a couple months ago. Something to do with his brain, and if he didn't get it fixed in time, he woulda died. Like, a painful, awful, rotting death in a hospital bed that I woulda sat next to until his last breath. But instead of dragging anyone into his crazy situation, he decided to go head-first into the danger and deal with it himself rather than let anyone help him. Because he was scared they'd die, even though he already was."

"Kerry..."

"He's not a bad person, Lou, he just does questionable things sometimes. He hasn't hurt me, and won't hurt you or the kids. I can send him away for the week if I need to."

Louise takes his hands in her own, shutting him up almost instantly. "Kerry, you don't need to explain. I understand. This is Night City, I think everyone here has a few skeletons in their closet."

Her laugh is small, nervous, yet he can hear genuine joy in it too at his admission. Kerry feels like a fucking idiot, but he squeezes her hands in his own, some of the pressure in his chest releasing with it.

"Besides," she says, her tone low and teasing again. Once upon a time, it was a good way to get him into bed, but now it only makes his blood run warm. "He sounds kinda hot, Kerry."

"He really, really is," Kerry laughs. Instantly, the tension sitting on his shoulders dissipates. God, is he happy he has her.

He stands, pressing a kiss to her hair as he does. "I'm glad you came," he says, quieter, more earnest. She smiles up at him, patting his arm.

"Sorry it was so last minute. I felt like I needed to see you, though. That the kids needed it."

There's probably more to that, but Kerry won't pry for now. Something to do with her fiancé, he's sure, especially since she left no room for Kerry to argue. If she wanted to keep it secret for now, that was fine. There were more than enough to go around anyway.

"Make yourself at home," he says, gesturing around the room. "Some of V's stuff is in the dresser there, and there's honestly probably a gun in the bedside table, but... what's mine is yours."

Louise scoffs a laugh. "I'm not your mother, I'm not here to pry. Although you may have wanted to put  _ that _ away."

She gestures at the end of the bed where the chest is, and Kerry freezes. Sitting on top of it, innocent as can be, is V's strapless strap, which Kerry quickly snatches and shoves into the chest before he can ignite into flames at Louise's smirk.

“A little thicker than I remember you liking it, hmm?” she giggles.

“Shut up, I don’t wanna hear it,” he snaps. She starts to laugh, and Kerry feels heat flood down his neck and chest at the sound. 

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Louise laughs breathlessly. “I shouldn’t tease you when I haven’t even met him yet.”

Kerry relaxes some. He manages to smile through his embarrassment as Louise flaps a calming hand at him.

“I did like picking partners that could fuck me senseless, and he’s no different, so. You both have that in common, I guess.”

Louise wipes a tear from her eye at that. “Good Lord, Kerry, just go to bed. We both know your flirting is awful.”

It feels good to tease her even after she’s discovered far more about his sex life than he expected her to in a two minute time period. “Fine, fine. I’ll be downstairs, and you know where the kitchen and bathroom is, so... goodnight.”

She tilts her chin for a kiss which Kerry presses to her hair again. “Goodnight,” she says, still giggling. “I promise not to dig through your, er, sex chest?”

“V has to wear a dick, I don’t, so please leave the sex chest alone,” Kerry sighs. How was this his life? How?

Louise winks. “Gotcha. I won’t.”

He has a feeling she will, but he drops it. He trots down the stairs after changing into pajama pants and one of V’s soft tee shirts, making his bed on one of the couches in the entertainment room. It’s one of the bigger ones, and it folds down into something flat and pretty comfy, which after this roller coaster of a day, is a plus. He turns all the lights out and collapses onto it face-first, but he doesn’t fall asleep for a while, laying stiff and poised to snatch his phone should it start ringing at some point during the night. 

V is fine, he has to keep telling himself. V is fine, he just didn’t have reception or something. He said he’d be a couple days, and tomorrow was when he said to expect him home. There was still time. Nothing was wrong, he just had poor reception.

Nothing was wrong, he just had poor reception. Nothing was wrong, he just had poor reception. Nothing was wrong, he just had poor reception...

——

He wakes to his phone vibrating off the couch and onto the carpet.

Kerry sits up so violently he nearly falls to the floor himself, but he manages to flail an arm out to keep from faceplanting. He rolls over and snatches up the phone, heart racing, hoping to see that familiar candid of V flashing on the screen, but instead it’s —

“Panam?” Kerry hisses into the phone. “What the hell is going on? Where’s V?”

_ “Kerry,” _ V says on the other end. Kerry lurches off the couch to his feet, beginning to pace. 

“You better have a good fucking reason for ignoring me,” Kerry says. He tries to keep his voice down, but fury bubbles up his throat regardless, making his blood run hot and his hands shake.

“ _ I know, _ ” V says. His voice wavers, halting Kerry in his tracks.  _ “I — well. Just meet me outside. Please. Be only a few minutes. _ ”

V hangs up. Kerry would scream, but his kids and ex-wife are still sleeping. He pockets his phone and slips on his sandals before pacing outside, waiting on the walk just out the door like he was asked to. The cool night air simmers his nerves some, but the panic ratchets up again when the  _ Javalina _ rumbles up the drive, spitting smoke from the exhaust pipes and looking like it had a nasty run-in with a minefield.

“V!” Kerry not-shouts as he jogs over to the car. The wing swings open and out tumbles V, barely catching himself on his hands and knees. Kerry kneels and gathers V under his armpits and hauls him up, fitting himself against V’s side to keep him upright.

“‘M okay,” V manages through a shaky breath. “‘M okay, Kerry. Fuck —“

They stumble as V’s legs give out. Kerry only manages to keep them upright through sheer force of will, huffing and grunting as he scrambles to get a good hold around V’s waist.

“You’re fucking bleeding, V, holy shit,” Kerry pants. V’s entire left shoulder is shredded, his jacket and shirt torn, exposing a bloody mess of burns and scrapes, and when they stumble through the door, V catches himself on his mangled left arm that Kerry hadn’t gotten a good look at in the dark of the evening. 

The mantis blade that was hidden in V’s forearm is completely crushed sideways, as if it’d been mid-release and then smashed back into place with an incredible amount of brute force. The plating surrounding the housing is crushed as well, and the blade itself is twisted at such an extreme angle that it keeps V’s entire forearm from closing up. Blood trickles through the plating seams, and when V moves it, it obviously causes him an enormous amount of pain with how hard he’s grinding his teeth to not cry out.

“V,” Kerry says, shaky, more quiet. “V, what the hell happened to you?”

“Wasn’t just surveillance,” V manages. Kerry waves open the door to the bathroom and maneuvers V onto the lip of the tub, holding onto him long enough to make sure he doesn’t tip over before moving back to gather supplies. 

“What was it, then?” Kerry snaps. “V, holy shit, this is — you’re fucking torn up —“

V shakes his head. Kerry frowns, but accepts it. V needs help. Questions can wait for later.

“Call Vik,” Kerry says sternly. He presses his phone into V’s good hand, shaking his head when V tries to give it back. “No. Call Vik, and I’ll go get help.”

A flash of confusion twists V’s expression, but he’s too hurt to appear to care. He nods and Kerry leaves him to it, flinging off his sandals so he can run quieter up the stairs and shake Louise awake.

“What the hell, Kerry?” she grumbles groggily while rolling over. “This better be something serious if you’re waking me after that long of a flight —“

“V is downstairs and I need an extra pair of hands,” he says quickly. Louise blinks, then turns completely to face him. She appears to notice the blood on Kerry’s hands, because she’s getting out of bed before he can ask her for help again. 

“Are the kids still asleep?” she asks. Kerry nods, then leads her back down the stairs, pausing just long enough to listen for any sign of movement in the kids’ rooms.

He and Louise both look at each other when they hear nothing. Then Kerry is practically sprinting back to the bathroom, Louise on his heels, only to find V collapsed on the shiny black marble with Kerry’s phone just out of reach.

“Fuck, okay,” Kerry says. He scrambles to V’s side and rolls him over, which is a feat on it’s own because V is complete dead weight. “Get my phone, call Vik, tell him we need him here now.”

“Okay, Vik,” Louise says. She does as she’s told, waiting for the holo to ring as Kerry finally gets V onto his back, pressing two fingers underneath his jaw to feel for a pulse.

He gets one right as Vik picks up on speaker.  _ “Kerry? _ ” he says, tone thick with sleep. “ _ The hell you callin’ me so early for? _ ”

“He needs you to come,” Louise half-whispers. Their voices echo in the bathroom — all this stupid fucking stone and marble. Kerry regrets having it put in, now. “He says it’s something wrong with V.”

_ “What’s wrong? Who are you?” _

“Just come,” Kerry hisses. “I’m tryin’ to keep him from goin’ under completely. His arm is real fucked up — the blade is all twisted up. And his shoulder looks like it got shredded by a shotgun.”

_ “Woah, okay. I’ll be over soon. Anything bleeding?” _

Kerry growls. “All of him, Vik.”

_ “Keep pressure on anything leakin’. Give me fifteen.” _

He hangs up. Louise manages a smile as she takes the phone back. Kerry tries not to blow a gasket, but his hands are a little busy ripping off V’s clothes and he really doesn’t want to wake his kids and have them walk in and see this.

“Here, let me,” Louise says. She kneels on the other side of V and helps him peel off his dirty, bloody clothes. Kerry nods, then motions for her to grab a towel from the rack behind her, which she does.

“Lots of pressure,” he says as he directs her to press it into V’s shoulder. “It’ll hurt him, but it’ll stop the bleeding.”

“You are way too calm to be doing this for the first time,” she says with a waver in her voice. 

“I am not calm right now, but I wasn’t expecting him to come back looking like —“ Kerry clamps his jaw shut.  _ Like he did when he stormed Arasaka _ , he doesn’t say.  _ Like he did the day he almost didn’t come back to me. Like the day I almost lost the last moore tying me to whatever mattered most on this bitch of a fucking planet. _

Louise seems to understand his furious silence. “It’ll be alright,” she says softly. “I’m assuming Vik is his ripper?”

Kerry manages a tight nod. “He helped a lot the last few months with V’s brain thing,” he says. He starts checking V over for more wounds, finding mostly scrapes and bruises. Whatever happened, happened fast, leaving V no choice but to escape to safety. He does find V’s phone in his jacket pocket, but it has a sizeable hole through it that Kerry guesses is the reason why V wasn’t answering.

Louise tries valiantly not to laugh when he holds it up for inspection. “Maybe leave a voicemail?”

“I have a feeling it’ll drop anyway,” Kerry grumbles. He sets it aside, then starts gathering supplies. Vik won’t want V to bleed out before he can get here.

Louise is surprisingly calm as Kerry cleans up V the best he can. His shoulder is an absolute mess, and there’s a sizeable gash across his nose that tracks up his forehead at an angle that says he was in a close-quarters knife fight before getting crushed to pieces. Kerry is gentle in wiping the blood away, but he’s gentler with V’s face, careful not to dab too hard. 

Fifteen minutes pass, and sure as shit, Vik comes sneaking into the bathroom with a bag slung over his shoulder. His eyebrows shoot up when he sees V and Louise, but he’s smart enough to keep his mouth shut when Kerry rises to move out of the way.

“You weren’t kidding, kid’s pretty banged up,” Vik says instead. He kneels at V’s left side, then gently takes up his mangled left arm. His expression crumples and he shakes his head. “Gonna need my chair for this. There’s not much I can do for him here.”

Kerry rubs his face. That’s what he was afraid — and secretly hopeful — for. V needed to not be here, especially when the kids started waking up. “Can you take him back, then? So you can help him?”

“Yeah, I can. You get his feet — we’ll carry him to the car. Hold this for me, will you?” 

He holds up V’s broken arm for Louise to take. She blinks, then moves to do as she’s told, gently cradling it in her hands as Vik counts to three and both himself and Kerry lift V’s deadweight from the floor. 

Vik drove a van here this time, and once again, Kerry praises the old man’s foresight. He’s so momentarily, blissfully happy he nearly drops V as they’re lifting him into the back bay doors onto a cushioned gurney folded down inside. Vik shoots him an amused look, but quickly gets V strapped down and the doors closed behind them.

“I’ll call you in a couple hours,” Vik says. “He ain’t so bad, but it’s a near thing.”

Kerry shakes his head. “Just go. I’ll wait.”

Vik nods. He hurries into the van and starts it, then he turns it around and disappears around the walls of the villa’s perimeter.

Kerry feels himself relax only enough for the onset of panic to be swallowed down, eased again by Louise’s hand curling around his wrist.

“Let’s go clean up,” she says softly. “I think we have a lot to talk about.” 

“Yeah,” he sighs. God, they fucking do. “I’m sorry. For dragging you into this.”

Louise shakes her head, smiling. “Nothing to apologize for, Kerry. I can see why you didn’t want me over, and I... really can’t express how much I regret pushing you into letting us come.”

“Ah, well.” He rubs his eyes again. That headache is coming back, or maybe it never truly left. “I just hope I can keep my shit together around the kids.”

Thankfully, neither Kim or Ted are awake when they go back inside. Louise seems thoughtful as they clean up the mess in the bathroom, but she either doesn’t want to say anything or is waiting for Kerry to break first. He might have, but his twisting stomach keeps him from opening his mouth even when Louise urges him upstairs and into his own bed.

“Alright, now talk, Eurodyne,” she says sternly when he sits down. Kerry flicks a weak glare at her that she bats away with a shake of her head as she settles beside him. “No detail left out. I want all of it.”

“It’s a long fucking story,” he sighs.

“Then we have a few hours till sunrise for you to tell it.”

So he does. The whole goddamn thing, from the moment V broke into the villa while Johnny was in the driver’s seat to where V had been the past few days, and why Kerry was so adamant about Louise not coming on such short notice. 

“It’s not that I didn’t want to see you or the kids, or I didn’t want to give being a dad another try, but this was — super bad fucking timing, Lou.”

Louise has so far been quiet, but this time she sighs and nods. “Yeah, I see that.”

“I mean, he doesn’t know,” Kerry says. “He’s only a few months out from the worst possible thing that could happen to someone. I wasn’t going to dump my problems on top of that.”

“Kerry, I really am sorry,” Louise says. “And about V...”

She wraps her arms around him. Kerry hugs her back, squeezing her to him as tightly as he can. She’d always been a good friend, so much better than either of them were to each other as wife and husband. He wonders how he could have fucked up so royally and still managed to keep her and the kids in his life for so long, especially now what he’s just beginning to see what a fucking jerk he’d been. 

“Thanks for being so cool about this,” he mumbles into her shoulder. She laughs, hugging him tighter, then lets him go. 

“You were very graceful when I said I started seeing someone again, so it’s only fair I return the favor. Even if you’re dating a mercenary that apparently is a lot more trouble than others in his profession.”

Kerry winces. “Yeah, ah... he kind of has a reputation. A good one, but also one that pretty much guarantees his solo career for the rest of his life.”

“Not too unlike someone I know,” Louise says with a wink.

“Yeah,” Kerry laughs weakly. 

“I do approve, you know. If that’s what you’re afraid of.”

“You haven’t even talked to him.”

“And the first place he went to when he was hurt was here. I think that says a lot more than anything he could’ve managed in his state,” Louise says. Her conviction is so strong it leaves him speechless — she’s not wrong, even though V probably knew he was close to passing out. 

Louise pats his shoulder and stands up. “Get some rest, then. I have a feeling Vik will be calling later in the morning.”

“Probably, yeah.” Kerry blows out a sigh when he falls back onto the sheets. Louise lays next to him, keeping a careful distance between them as she curls up on her side. Her presence is so familiar and calming, he doesn’t realize he’s falling asleep until nothing matters much anymore.

The sound of Kim giggling wakes him up some indeterminate time later, drawing him up to his feet nearly in the same moment. Louise isn’t beside him anymore, but her luggage is open and the room smells like her perfume, so she probably only recently woke as well. Kerry dresses and trots down the stairs, following the sound of Kim and Ted beginning to argue into the kitchen where he sees the two of them sitting at the island eating torta with Louise across from them, sipping coffee.

“Good morning!” Kim says when he slips onto the stool next to her. She laughs, stuffing a bite of breakfast in her mouth. “Wow, you look like you didn’t sleep at all.”

Kerry manages a smile. “Yeah, didn’t really. Thanks.”

Kim flushes, but her smile is still there. “Mom told us something happened?”

Kerry glances at Louise, assessing. She nods, taking another sip. “Someone Kerry cares about got hurt, so we’ll have a visitor with us for the week,” she says. 

“Not more groupies, I hope,” Ted grumbles. 

Kerry breathes deep through his nose, then lets it out over a few seconds to calm down. Louise levels a look on Ted that he seems to ignore as he glares into his plate, but Kerry won’t let things lie as they are, now.

“Look, kid,” Kerry gets up. He sits across from Ted, making it impossible for him to look away when Kerry is all he sees when he glances up. “I get why you’re pissed at me. I get it, and you have every right to be that way. But I’m serious about changing.”

Ted glares through his curly bangs. “So you just decided yesterday afternoon to change and expect us to eat it up like mom is?”

“Ted,” Louise snaps. “That’s enough.”

“Don’t talk to your mother like that,” Kerry says. Ted shrinks enough that Kerry thinks it takes, or at least makes him feel guilty enough to keep quiet. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

“If you were sorry, you’d knock off the attitude, too,” Kerry continues. “You’re about to be seventeen. Act like it.”

Ted doesn’t speak for a while. Kim picks at her food awkwardly, eating the vegetables in her omelette before tearing apart the egg and dipping it in ketchup. Louise stays firm, so Kerry does as well, even as his blood rushes in his ears so loud it nearly drowns out what Ted has to finally say when he sits up.

“I just,” he sighs. “I don’t... everyone talks about you. Everyone knows who you are. I can’t go to school without being reminded I’m your kid on all the screamsheets and billboards on the way there. They paint you as this super successful guy, but they hardly know the truth.

Yeah, Kerry really hadn’t set his kids up for success, had he? “Well, Ted, I know that feeling, and I get why it makes you mad. And I know I haven’t been the best, with everything between us and how I acted the past couple years, but... I’m serious this time. You can doubt me, but don’t resist me. I’m on your side, buddy.”

Ted nods. He doesn’t hide so much in his food anymore, but he won’t look at Kerry, and that’s fine. Change won’t come so quickly if he wants it that badly. 

His phone starts ringing at that moment, making everyone at the island jump. Kerry fumbles to tug it out of his pocket, then swipes to answer the call on speaker when he sees it’s Vik.

“Hey,” he says, hyper-aware of his family staring him down. “Any good news?”

_ “Better than it looked, that’s for damned sure,” _ Vik sighs _. “I swear, this kid is gonna kill me via heart attack one of these days.” _

“Tell me about it,” Kerry scoffs.

Vik’s laugh is tired.  _ “Yeah, well. I’m bringing him to you. He’s doped up pretty good, so he may sleep for a while, but I got other patients and Misty is out for the day. Y’think you can watch him?” _

Kerry glances at Louise. She nods with a gentle smile, setting her coffee down. Kerry breathes out a tense breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, feeling like a piece of himself has finally right itself again.

“It’s alright, bring him over. Would it be too much to ask if he’s lucid enough to walk around?”

_ “Got plans, huh? _ ” Vik’s tone is amused yet knowing. It makes Kerry itch even though he knows he’s asking for a lot.  _ “I’ll give him a booster. But he really does need the rest. Pellets wrecked his shoulder, and his arm is still sore from replacing the blade. Don’t work him too hard, alright?” _

The double meaning isn’t lost on Kerry, even as his face heats up. “Vik, there are kids in the room.”

Vik’s laugh is boisterous.  _ “God, are you full of surprises. Be a bit, don’t go anywhere.” _

Kerry hangs up before Vik can embarrass him further. Louise turns a sly smirk on him, half-hidden by her coffee that Kerry meets with a sigh.

"Was that who you were talking about?" Kim says before Kerry can head his ex-wife off. "What happened?"

"My friend. Y'know, the cars and the cat?" Kerry rolls his hand on his wrist, gesturing to the villa as a whole. "He's gonna be staying with us for the week. That's what your mom was talkin' about."

"Is he okay?" Kim's lower lip juts out in a sad frown. "That guy sounded like he was hurt..."

Kerry glances at Louise, who shakes her head. Yeah, maybe shouldn't tell them his new input was a mercenary with a penchant for gunshots. "He, ehh, got in an accident. He lives here, so he... I'd appreciate it if you guys treated him nicely. Like my..."

Ted's expression screws up again in a tight frown. "Wait, your boyfriend?"

Kerry bristles. "I told you. Your mom told you."

"This was supposed to be about family."

"And he's part of it," Kerry snaps, then sighs and rubs his face. "Look, Ted..."

"Mom didn't even bring her own boyfriend! Because this was about us!"

"Theodore," Louise says. "Stop. We came here for a vacation and we're going to have it. But Kerry has responsibilities to his --"

"Don't," Ted growls, pointing his fork with venom. Kerry snatches it from him and slams it down, standing up from his stool with his heartbeat pounding underneath his skin. The brief flash of panic on Ted's face scares him enough to keep his voice down, but only barely.

" _ You _ don't, Ted," Kerry says, low, dangerous. "You're six-fucking-teen and I won't have you doing that kinda shit to your mother or to me. If I have to tell you one more time, in front of your sister no less, I'll pay for your ticket back home myself."

Ted shakes his head, stricken. Kim is hiding a smile behind her hand, but all Kerry can see is how scared Ted is, how terrified he made him. He collapses back onto his stool, breathing slow, before attempting to speak.

"If you have a problem, you talk it out, kid," Kerry says, slower, more measured. It takes all he has to keep his tone that way when Ted's glare flicks back up to him again from where it'd been trained on his plate since Kerry sat down. "You got some beef with my choices? Fine. You worried you won't see a change in me if you don't have me all alone this whole week? Fine. But V is hurt, and he's going to need attention, so while we go out and about to fuckin' museums and aquariums and normal every day shit, he's going to be right there along with us."

Ted looks away again. God, V wasn't even fucking here and there was already a fight going on about him. Kerry sincerely hopes he can run interference before --

"Fine," Ted sighs, interrupting Kerry's internal guilt trip.

Kerry blinks, then frowns. "Fine?"

Ted's glare weakens, wilting more under Kim's giggle behind her hand. "Yeah, fine. Whatever, Kerry. Do what you want."

_ That was easy _ , Louise mouths at him when Kerry flicks an incredulous look at her. When Kerry looks back at Ted, he's picking at his food again, sharing a glance with his sister that can only be described as relieved. Kerry relaxes enough to take a breath and stands, feeling dizzy from the whiplash of this weird fucking morning.

But he feels better. Like he got through to Ted, if even just a little bit. Like finally strides have been taken to rectify how shitty he'd been for his kids' childhood, even though things may not turn out as well as he wants. At least he could say he tried -- more than he can say for how he acted for so many years before. 

"I'm sorry for raising my voice," he says on the tail end of that bone-deep guilt. Ted and Kim both look at him, their eyes suddenly wide. "I mean it."

Kim's smie is vibrant compared to Ted's weak glare. "It's okay, he probably deserves it. He plays your songs on his sax sometimes, you know!"

Ted's glare is sharper as he turns it on Kim. "Don't."

"And on the guitar," Louise says, with an arched brow and sly smirk. "Takes after his father more than he thinks."

"Uhg, just tell me when we're going," Ted snaps. He slams his fork down and stomps out of the kitchen, retreating to his room with a hiss of the door behind him that makes Kerry snort a laugh. Yeah, doesn't really ring too well when a door can't be slammed, but the sentiment is the same.

"Really feel like I'm stepping in it every time I open my mouth with him," Kerry sighs. He gets up and circles the island, wrapping Kim up in a hug that she returns with warm hands around his forearms. "Thank you for being so well-adjusted despite the circumstances, kiddo."

Kim tilts her head into the kiss he presses into her hair. "No problem, dad. I dump all my deep dark thoughts into my dairy. It keeps me sane."

Kerry squeezes her tight before letting her go. "Right. Keep doing you, honey. You're alright."

Kim jumps up and takes charge in kitchen clean-up after that, apparently unphased completely by how unsettled Kerry is at her comments. Louise can't stop smiling, and when Kim is sufficiently distracted, she gets up and pats him on the chest with a soft hand.

"That's what a good amount of therapy looks like, you know," she says. "Ted, too. He's a lot better than a few months ago."

Kerry deflates under her hand. "Yeah. I know I'm supposed to be happy about that, but I'm a shitty fucking dad if I didn't even know that."

Louise shakes her head. "No, you're just human. Now's the time to make up for the sin of existing. Don't waste it."

Cryptic, yet again, but she ends her sentence with a wink. Kerry can't help but laugh and kiss her cheek, taking in her teasing with as much grace as he can muster. Fuck, he really had fucked it all up, hadn't he?

Ted eventually saunters out of his room a while later when Kerry and Kim are trying to pick what to do later in the day. He's quiet, slinking into the main entertainment room with all the grace of a cat. Both Louise and Kerry let him, pretending not to notice as he folds into the cushion next to his sister on the couch.

It's then that Kerry's phone buzzes with a new text message, silencing the room instantly. Kerry snatches it off the coffee table, swipes it open, then is immediately up and practically sprinting to the front door. He can hear the footsteps of his family following behind him, but he has eyes for no one else but V as he limps through the front door with a weak smile on his face. 

"V!" Kerry breathes. "Holy shit, I'm so glad to see you."

"Hey," V says as Kerry cradles his waist with gentle hands. His eyes flick behind him, hesitating with his hands hovering over Kerry's shoulders, but Kerry shakes his head -- it's alright, there's nothing to hide. V instantly relaxes, sinking into the embrace Kerry tugs him into.

"Missed you," V mumbles against Kerry's temple. Kerry melts, feeling like putty in his hands, until he remembers his kids standing right behind him and steps away with a gentle kiss to V's cheek.

"Missed you too,  _ sinta _ . But now it's time you properly met my ex-wife," Kerry says. He holds his hand out for Louise, then tugs her close with a little awkward smile tugging at his lips. What a fucking way to converge the two halves of his heart. "V, this is Louise. Louise, this is V."

"Nice to meet you," Louise laughs. V wraps an arm around her in a light hug that she returns, her hands gentle on his sides. "Good to see you're in better shape than last night."

"Thanks for that," V says. "Really."

Louise flaps a hand. "No worries. Now here, my kids have been waiting to meet you."

V's smile tightens when Kim hops forward much more enthusiastically than her brother.

“I’m Kim!” Kim introduces brightly. “Dad’s been worried about you all morning, you know that? What happened?” 

V chances a glance at Louise. Kerry sincerely hopes this won’t go completely sideways already, but Ted is glaring and Louise’s mouth is in a smile that speaks to a mouthful of words should he toe the line. She has soft eyes for V, though, and nods with a soft hand sliding over Kim’s shoulders as if to brace her for what V is about to say.

V looks to Kerry as well, silent askance in the tilt of his brow, which Kerry also grants with a nod. V was a dangerous man, but not here, not to Kerry and his family. He’d been hurt, and it was better to come clean now. Kerry didn’t want to hide behind smoke and limelight anymore.

“I, uh,” V stammers after a moment spent searching for the words. “I got — into an accident. I fell, and messed up my shoulder and my arm. But I’m alright now.”

“That’s really good,” Kim says, “because Dad was real worried.”

V’s smile is more genuine when he turns it on Kerry. “I know. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

Kerry flaps a hand, suddenly warm again. “Ehh, it’s alright. Giving me minor heart attacks is probably something I should expect from you.” 

“Dad wouldn’t stop looking at his phone,” Kim says. 

V digs in his back pocket and produces a truly sad sight — his phone with a bullet hole shot clean through it. And then he produces another, bulkier phone from his other pocket, a smile ticking at his lips at the truly incredulous expressions on Kerry and Louise’s faces.

“Panam lent me hers,” V says, shaking the phone without a bullet hole in it. His phone he hands to Kim, who takes it and starts flipping it over in her hands, inspecting it. “Saved my life, probably.”

“Doesn’t look like an accident to me,” Ted grumbles. It’s the first thing he’s said since V arrived, and instantly all attention swings to him. 

Kim turns on her heel and hooks her arm through Ted’s and tugs him forward. “And this is Teddy! Look, isn’t this crazy? How’d this save you, mister...?”

“V,” V says.

Kim tilts her head, a frown overtaking her face. “Why do you go by just a letter?”

But before V can answer, Ted takes V’s phone from Kim, his expression a thundercloud. “This is shot through,” he says. “You didn’t get in an accident.”

Kerry and Louise both open their mouths to reprimand — Kerry more out of fear for V than Louise — but V huffs and says, archly, “It’s Night City.”

“And firefights are practically a dime a dozen,” Kerry says, heated, before taking the phone away. 

Ted glares. “Right. Like your boyfriend happens to have mantis blades for arms and a gun stuffed in the waistband of his pants —“

“Ted, that’s enough,” Louise snaps.

“You can ask questions like an adult instead of throwing attitude behind everything you say. V is a big boy, I’m sure he has his reasons for being armed.”

“Besides living in one of the most dangerous cities on the planet,” Kerry adds. 

V shrugs. “Let him talk. Get it off his chest.”

Once again, Kerry is witness to the shock that overcomes Ted’s face when he’s given an out for his shitty behaviour. Like Kerry had done, V waits with a patient quirk of his brow, challenging and rolling over all at once. V has faced down mobs and gangs and corporate samurai, has killed and been killed, has had his psyche overwritten and spent weeks bedridden after getting said psyche removed from his own. V has done a lot of stupid, dangerous, heart-wrenching things, but to stand firm in front of Kerry’s kid and challange him is probably one of the scariest things Kerry has seen.

But Ted backs down. It could be from V’s imposing silence and unwillingness to budge, or from Kim tugging at Ted’s sleeve and murmuring “Just let it go, it’s not worth it.” A million things flash behind Ted’s eyes before he’s handing the phone back, begrudging and apologetic at the same time.

V takes it back with a single nod. “Thanks. Wouldn’t want to miss a call, y’know.”

He winks at Kim, who giggles. And just like that, the tension building melts away, leaving Kerry’s family happy and smiling and returning to their normal, dysfunctional selves in the blink of V’s sly eye.

Well, everyone except Ted. He slinks off to the entertainment room with Kim, looking over his shoulder at V as if he were a predator to keep an eye on. V is careful not to move until both kids are out of sight, when he drops his shoulders and immediately leans into Kerry, who wraps an arm around him to take his weight.

“Fuck,” V hisses. “Was not expecting a goddamn family reunion when I got here, Ker.” 

Kerry grunts, managing not to pinch or scratch as he gets his hands around V. “Like I knew, V! This was just as much a surprise to me as it was for you. I tried fucking texting you, but apparently you’re fucking stupid enough to not ony get shot, but have your phone take the bullet for you —“ 

“Alright, alright, lovebirds,” Louise laughs gently. She comes around V’s other side, gracefully taking his weight on her own shoulder to help steady him. “Let’s get you upstairs and see the damage, okay? Let Kerry fuss over you a bit.”

Kerry knows this conversation isn’t over by how tightly V’s jaw is kept shut, his lips twisted in a frown, but both of them don’t bother to argue. Louise has a commanding tone even when speaking gently, so they both manage to get V upstairs and into bed without much hassle. V is in a lot more pain than he appears to be, and he’s uncoordinated like he had been after getting the relic removed. Kerry fusses while Louise gets water and first aid supplies, tugging off V’s shirt to see the extent of the damage.

“Oh,  _ aking minamahal _ , what the fuck happened to you?” Kerry murmurs. V shrugs, then clearly regrets the movement, his eyes squeezing shut as he leans into Kerry’s hands coming around his neck and shoulder. His entire left shoulder is shredded from ablated shrapnel, either from a grenade or a bullet exploding before hitting him. Vik had done his best with stitching closed the worst of the sliced skin, but still red streaks glance up V’s chest and neck, radiating out into smaller scrapes across V’s cheeks. 

V is sheepish as Kerry kneels in front of him to gently dab at the wounds with the warm rag Louise had brought. “Fell,” V murmurs. He glances at Louise as she settles beside him, her fingers gently applying antibiotic cream to the stitched wounds. “Didn’t lie, Ker. I got dizzy, real fuckin’ bad, and suddenly couldn’t see straight. I fell right as I was swingin’ at some shiv and he just — I couldn’t —“

He stretches his left arm as if in answer. The mantis blade housed there extends out, shiny and new and not a scratch on it, but Kerry remembers how mangled it was that morning. The blood seeping from the seams, the twisted steel of V’s arm bending back onto itself. Kerry places a warm palm over the blade and presses it back into place, the mechanism folding back with an ease that comes only from being so new.

"Fell?" Kerry repeats. "Dizzy? Like -- like the symptoms are coming back?"

Louise flicks her gaze between them. "Coming back? V, are you sick?"

"I was sick," V says, a little harshly through his teeth, but neither Kerry or Louise comment on it. "I was. 'M not anymore, and I thought I was doin' okay, but... Panam said I looked just like I did when I collapsed that last time."

Kerry bites the inside of his cheek to keep the tears at bay as he leans forward and presses their foreheads together. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it wasn't a problem until now," V says lamely. "I didn't... didn't wanna worry you, is all," he says a little quieter. "Didn't wanna scare you."

Kerry can't fucking stand it. What a time for his kids to show up, now, when V needed help. He needed space, needed time to make sure V was alright --

A hand sliding across his shoulders startles him. But it's familiar, and when he leans back, Louise is kneeling beside him in front of V with a soft look on her face. 

"I can take the kids," she says. "I shouldn't have pushed to come. If you need to, I can give you space."

Kerry opens his mouth to accept, but V shakes his head firmly. "No," he says. "Stay. Please. They deserve to see him."

"V," Kerry sighs. "You need help --"

"'M fine, really." V looks at him, trying to appear earnest through the pain clearly clouding his vision. He looks close to passing out as he sits there miserably, slouching into Kerry's hands as they come up to cradle his face. "'M fine, Ker."

"Think on it," Louise says kindly. "Rest for now. We can do lunch, maybe go somewhere that isn't so tiring? I know the kids want to go out, and they want to spend time with you, but V comes first."

V's eyes are begging for Kerry to go, to at least try and see what they can accomplish if not for Kerry's kids' sake, then for V's own. He didn't even know Kerry's kids existed until ten minutes ago and he was already bending over backwards to make sure they got what they wanted before his own needs were met, needs that Kerry was seriously contemplating dropping everything to fulfill. If nothing else, V needed company, a new phone, his car needed to be worked on and he most definitely needed help getting into the shower if he was this compromised --

"Lemme nap," V says, interrupting the spiral Kerry's thoughts had begun twisting down. "Lemme catch a few, and we can go somewhere for lunch, okay? I'll go. I wanna be a part of this."

Jesus, does he love this stupid merc. Kerry leans forward and kisses him, then pushes back on his chest gently, helping him lay down. Louise stands, giving them space as Kerry pulls off V's blood-spattered sneakers and jeans, then tugs the covers over him as V lets out a pained sigh from moving around so much. 

"You got till noon," Kerry says. "Four hours, okay? I'll get you a phone, some new shoes, a fuckin' sling for your arm -- baby, you're a goddamn wreck..."

“Gonna be fine,” V grumbles, though he does finally settle down with a grunt. “Gonna be just fine.” 

“Four hours,” Kerry repeats. He leans down, pressing kisses across V’s cheeks, then leaves him to fall asleep on his own. Louise gives him a concerned smile as she turns to follow after him, a smile he can barely reciprocate before he’s trotting down the stairs after the sound of his kids bickering.

“Alright,” Kerry announces, and both Kim and Ted turn from where they were fighting over the television remote. “V is gonna sleep off his rough morning, and we’re all gonna let him rest by takin’ off to get him a couple things, then swing back around to pick him up for lunch. Sound good?” 

Kim’s face lights up. “Oh! Can we go to the mall? Mom said I could get a new dress...”

“You’re already wearing one, Kim,” Ted sighs, leaning into his palm propped up on the back of the couch.

“But I wanna new one,” she whines.

Louise laughs while Kerry tries not to blow a gasket. “Let’s see what we can do, honey,” she says. Kim cheers while Ted just rolls his eyes — this also drives Kerry up the wall, but he grinds his teeth and keeps his mouth shut. He’s trying to be better. He’s doing this for his kids. For Louise. For V. 

So Kerry calls a mechanic to come tow V’s  _ Javalina _ — the poor fuckin’ thing won’t start no matter how many times Kerry swears at it when he turns the key — then loads everyone up sans V into his Rayfield. Thankfully, falling into the chatter innate to his children is easy, and Louise is a comforting presence despite the tension still lingering between them.

Kerry takes them to the mall in the more upscale part of town just so he can have the peace of mind of letting Ted and Kim roam ahead of him. He and Louise both keep an eye on them, but when they wander off in whichever store they end up, he doesn’t stress too much. It’s easy to hear them arguing nearby, anyway, and eventually they gravitate towards each other as Kerry gets his shopping for V done.

“What size does he wear?” Louise asks when they’re finished purchasing a new phone. Kerry hums — he has no idea, honestly. 

“Well, he’s taller than me,” Kerry says. “And kinda skinny in the waist — yeah, like that. Soft shirts. Kid moves around too much to wear much else.” 

Louise shakes her head with a smile, draping two shirts over her arm that are both a nondescript grey. “You really know how to pick ‘em, Kerry.”

He sighs, long and exhausted. “Sure do, I guess. Look, if he upsets you...”

Louise turns an arched brow on him. “I have no room to judge. You remember my last boyfriend.” 

Yeah, unfortunately, he does. “Real fucker, that guy, and not in the good way. At least V has a good rhythm.” 

“Kerry,” Louise admonishes with a smack to his arm. He smiles, all teeth, at the blush rising to her cheeks. 

“Ain’t gonna stretch the truth,” Kerry says with a laugh. “He looks like shit right now, but wait until he feels better. Real looker, V.”

“I imagine that’s not all you like him for.” 

“Nah.” Kerry lets out a breath, less a sigh and more a whistle. There’s a lot he likes about V. A lot he loves him for, the least of which how easy on the eyes he is. “He’s... had a lot goin’ on, but he’s got a good head on his shoulders. Loyal, smart... determined. Could sit around and write songs about him all day.”

Louise’s honey brown eyes are knowing as they move on to the men’s jeans section. Ted and Kim are nearby, bickering again, though Kerry is quickly learning this is just how they communicate. 

“You dropped everything to go buy him clothes, Kerry,” Louise says. “I think there’s more to this than a muse.” 

He chews his lip, unable to meet her eyes suddenly. He doesn’t know why, he’s already admitted as much to V himself already. It’s not like he was hiding anything, but — 

— but it’s like having Louise know is a betrayal, almost. To her and to V. He loved them both dearly, would bend over backwards for either of them if it would get them what they want, but...

He was seeing the differences, now. In how he treated Louise and how he’s treating V. He’d had to care for V in a way he hasn’t cared for someone since either of his children were small — had to wipe away blood, sweat, and tears from V more times than he could count. So much of his devotion to V came on the back of seeing him at his absolute lowest time in his life, and still Kerry had stuck around. Anyone else, though? If it’d been a Kerry from a year ago? Two? Five?

But what was growth without admitting it? What was moving on without showing that he had moved on? Louise had — she was already getting remarried in another few months, and Kerry was invited. She was letting him see the kids even though he was an emotional wreck after nearly watching the man he loves rot away from the ghost of his dead best friend rewriting the very DNA of his existence, and still she indulged him further in taking his family shopping so he could tend to V’s needs. 

Already she was bending over backwards to make sure Kerry knew how much she approved of V. That even without properly meeting him — even though the first she saw of him was beaten and bloody and everything she should be afraid of — she was here, picking out jeans and shoes that she thinks V will like. Dressing him, asking after him, making sure Kerry is okay with all this —

“I really do love him,” Kerry manages after what he’s sure is a long few minutes of silence on his end. Louise has piled more clothes in his arms, a verified wardrobe from the likes of her beautiful mind. She had the eye of a designer (because she was one), and everything in Kerry’s arms is sure to please V in some sort of way, even if he still wore the same ratty Chucks Kerry met him in months ago. 

“I know you do, Kerry,” Louise laughs softly. “You think he’s too scary for me and the kids, but... the first place he came to when he was hurt was you. Not a hospital, not one of his edgerunner friends I’m sure he has hidden away in the darkest corners of Night City. You,” she says with a finger poking into his sternum. “That says a lot about what safety means to him, Ker.” 

“He can’t go to a hospital,” Kerry says lamely, but it’s a weak deflection. V had driven all that way just to collapse on his bathroom floor, hadn’t he? His car was wrecked to shit and he didn’t even have a cellphone, but still he crawled his bleeding ass all the way to Kerry just to pass out when the pain got to be too much. V had come to him. To  _ him _ .

And here Kerry was, agonizing over whether what he had with V was worth admitting to. As if V could be anything less than a declaration made on a stage in front of hundreds of thousands of people — as if Kerry isn’t already working on an album titled just that. Just V. 

_ Way to go, jackass _ , Kerry says to himself.  _ Head over heels for a fucking merc, and now your ex-wife is in love with him too. _

Louise doesn’t tease him too much as they finish their shopping. They end up getting Kim two dresses, not just one, and Ted reluctantly agrees to a new set of earphones. Anything Kerry can do to please his kids, he’ll do, even with an early trip to the ice cream parlor before he’s taking them back home to pick up V. 

Except the villa is quiet when they get there. Quiet like no one was home — like V wasn’t snoozing upstairs. Kerry’s stomach drops to the floor as he glances back outside and notices one less Quadra in the driveway, his entire body running ice cold as realization hits him. 

“V!” he shouts, voice wavering. Kerry drops everything and tears up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. “V, if your ass isn’t bed I am seriously going to stick my foot so far up it you’ll taste my —“

But V isn’t in bed. The blankets are nearly made — neither of them ever made the bed — and the whole place is tidy like one of the maids had come through when Kerry explicitly asked them not to come up here. V’s gun is still in the bedside drawer when he yanks it open, but everything else — wallet, clothes, V himself — is gone.

“Fuck,” Kerry hisses. “Fuck —“ 

“What’s wrong?” Kim says from the doorway. He jumps and turns, finding his whole fam damily standing there with varying degrees of shock on their faces.

Kerry doesn’t know what to say. That V is gone, fucked off to God knows where because of something Kerry couldn’t control? That he’s effectively scared away the one person Kerry couldn’t live without because the other half of his life decided to show up practically unannounced?

No. That wasn’t fair to Louise and the kids. He wants to see them, wants to have them in his life again, but —

“His boyfriend abandoned him,” Ted snickers. “Man, that must feel awful, Kerry.” 

“Theodore,” Louise snaps. “I won’t have you speaking about your father that way.” 

“What? He can hardly keep his kids in his life, and you’re surprised he can’t keep one random guy in it either?” 

“I know where he went,” Kerry seethes. He’s pissed, furious beyond belief, but Ted isn’t the target here. Instead, he yanks Ted close to his chest and hugs him as tightly as he fucking can, even as Ted squirms and retches. 

“I love you, you know that?” Kerry says. Hard, because he means it. He squeezes Ted for all he’s worth, pouring everything in his rockerboy soul into this kid he fucking failed.

Ted quiets in his arms. Kerry hugs him tighter, then lets him go. “I love you. Both of you,” he says, then hugs Kim. She melts in his arms, melting his heart, too. She has tears in her eyes when he stands up, and he pretends not to wipe his own away, too.

“I’ll find him,” Kerry says, straightening in front of Louise. She wraps her arms around him and squeezes, then lets him go. 

“I’ll keep the lights on,” she says. “Call if he shows up, okay?” 

He nods. He can’t speak around the V-shapes hole in his heart, so he just jumps down the stairs and snatches the keys to yet another of V’s Quadras. V had taken the Cthulhu, and Kerry has a pretty good idea where he went with all that metal muscle.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY THIS SO LONG I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT KAHSLAKHS

It takes hours to get to the Aldecaldo camp just on memory alone, managing not to blow himself up on hidden mine fields or picked apart by Raffen or Wraiths hidden in the hills. They’d moved again, further into the flats of the desert, nearly at the edges of what Militech protects. The camp is in what looks like a full swing party, bonfire and all, and when Kerry pulls up in V’s car, neither Mitch or Saul are questioning why he’s there.

“You look angrier than a wet cat, there, Mister Eurodyne,” Mitch says, though there’s little heat behind his easy smile. He claps arms with Kerry, then softens his grip and his eyes as he gestures to Saul. 

“V and Panam took off a while ago,” Saul says. “Something important — recon that didn’t get finished yesterday because of V’s... accident.”

Saul is careful to keep his tone neutral, which is probably good considering Kerry’s rising blood pressure. Kerry isn't sure he can be held responsible for his temper if any more obstacles were put in his way than he had already. 

"I know he went running off," Kerry says. "And I don't care when or with who. I just need you to point me in the right direction so I can kick his ass and then apologize."

"Oh, I know where they went," Saul says knowingly. 

"And I don't think any of us are going to keep you from whooping V's ass," Mitch laughs. "Just say the word."

"If you don't mind, why didn't you --" Kerry shouts, stops. Takes a deep breath. V was a grown ass man. Panam was a grown ass woman. If work needed doing, V was the man to do it, and Panam would be an absolute fool not to take advantage of that help, especially when offered. 

But V was hurt. He was not a day out from getting his ass kicked six ways from Sunday. He was hurt, both emotionally and physically, and it takes all Kerry has not to scream as Mitch and Saul glance between each other, neither willing to speak until Kerry finally takes a deep, calming breath.

"I'm going to ask very nicely one more time for you to lead me to where he is," Kerry says slowly, enunciating every word. "I fucked up. He's hurt very badly. I'd like to talk to him."

Neither Mitch or Saul seem to be in any mood to stop him. "I'll lead you," Mitch says. "They're not far out, actually. We can probably get there before it gets too dark."

Kerry gestures for him to lead the way. Mitch exchanges another look with Saul, then moves towards a vehicle bristling with anti-mine hardware and an external roll cage wrapping around its frame. It's splattered with the same bright reds and teals indicative of a Nomad's ride, and Mitch gets in with a wave for Kerry to follow. 

The setting sun filters through the rising dust behind Mitch's car in motes of shifting beams that leave Kerry blind to much more than what's directly in front of him. Though he was right -- it's not a long drive -- it's long enough for Kerry to sit and stew in his own (probably misplaced) guilt, enough for him to realize there's a lot of his life that wasn't introduced to V very gently. V had just gone through the most harrowing, life-changing, un-fucking-believable thing a person could ever go through, and was just managing to get on his feet again. He was getting better, he was healing, and now?

Kerry has just royally kicked all that progress into the doghouse along with his own sorry ass.  _ What a fucking way to go, Kerry Fucking Eurodyne. _

Mitch stops below a rusted windmill with its blades anchored by guy lines, though they still creak and groan when Kerry steps out to meet him right below it. His head is craned up as if he could see the top of it as the night sky consumed it, though if Kerry squints, he can see what Mitch is looking at — a blinking red light, pulsing slow and steady. A sign of someone up there on the platform high above. 

“V’s probably sitting pretty up there,” Mitch says, pointing, “while Panam is circling the perimeter. Playing it safe this time instead of getting V ripped up again.” He looks at Kerry, a sheepish look crossing his face. “Sorry about that, by the way.” 

The fight has drained out of Kerry now, so he simply shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it,” he sighs. “Should I be worried about killing myself by going up there?”

He motions to the rusted grate stairs winding around the outside of the windmill’s column. Mitch shrugs a shoulder, a far too noncommittal gesture for Kerry’s liking.

“I’ll stay,” he says instead. “Make sure you don’t go splat, huh?”

“Thanks,” Kerry growls. 

“No problem.” 

Kerry scoffs. Then he swallows his innate fear of heights and starts up the rickety, groaning stairs, trying not to think about falling or tripping or the metal giving out from underneath him. V got up here no problem, even though V has ten years of mercwork under his belt and his body packed heavily with military-grade cyberware — Kerry sucks it up and continues even as he grows dizzy from how quickly Mitch turns into a dot in the dark below him. 

“Careful,” he hears V call when he finally reaches the top landing. It’s right below the engine of the turbine, though everything is quiet. Kerry freezes as he hears a body shift to get up. “Here, let me help you.” 

V appears in front of him, melting out of the darkness to greet him with kind hands around Kerry’s. Kerry squeezes his fingers, following where V guides him, kneeling when one of V’s hands pushes down on his shoulder gently. 

“Coulda brought a fucking flashlight,” Kerry grumbles irritably.

“And reveal my preem roost?” V laughs. “Nah. Got better things to do than have my head blown off.”

“Right,” Kerry sighs. He rubs his face, then his eyes. When they blink open, he finds he can see a bit better in the dark, including V sitting cross-legged beside him, picking at the rough hem of his pant leg. 

Kerry sighs again, reaching out to take V’s hand. “I wanna apologize,” he murmurs. “For dropping so much shit on you so suddenly.”

V shakes his head, but his fingers tighten in Kerry’s. “Shoulda seen it coming. ‘S not — not your fault.”

“What do you mean, seen it coming?” Kerry says. “V, I was intending on telling you, but your life has kinda been in fucking shambles lately. There was no good time to talk about my hang-ups.” 

“I just mean — I didn’t — fuck, Kerry,” V sighs. “You mean a lot to me, you know that? You took care of me when you shouldn’t have, fucking carried my ass out of Arasaka tower — Ker, you’ve done more for me than my fucking parents, and I never even knew them.” 

He sighs, suddenly leaning forward on his other hand. Kerry shifts closer, wrapping an arm around him and tugging him close. V moulds to his side like he belongs there, and after tonight, Kerry hopes he’ll stay there. 

But he gets it. Gets what V isn’t saying, what’s so hard to finally get out. “I know what I got into when I signed up for this,” he says softly. He kisses V’s hair even as the merc tries pulling away — no way in hell was he letting V go now. “The blood and gunfire is part of your job, I get it. Coming home beaten to hell and back — I get that too.

But you have a place with me if you want it, and I sure as hell want you there if you take it.” He sighs, his throat suddenly tight. “My... my life has been fucked up from the beginning. I didn’t make the right choices a lot of the time and I still have some making up to do with my kids, but you don’t gotta be part of that. I can just be Kerry to you, and everything else — my kids, my career — you don’t gotta be part of that.”

V tears away from his side, and when their eyes meet, V is furious. It’s the angriest Kerry has ever seen V, but he doesn’t look away. He’s not sure he could.

“I’m not — you don’t have to split yourself down the middle for me,” V says. “Ker... I’m telling you that  _ I’m _ the problem.  _ I’m _ the one that should be packin’ my shit and leavin’ — I’m the danger to your family, here.” 

Kerry feels white-hot anger flush through his veins. “Since when are you a danger? V, you’re fuckin’ insane if you think for one moment you were capable of hurting me or my family.” 

“Look at what I’m doing!” V shouts, throwing his hands up. The motion pulls at his injured shoulder, making him wince, his voice rising into the cool night air as he continues. “I got fucking smashed by some lunatic with a fucking grenade, I get beaten within an inch of my life on a monthly basis, I had the ghost of  _ your dead best friend _ riding fucking shotgun in my brain, and you think I’m good enough boyfriend material to stick around your kids?”

Kerry opens his mouth to argue, because no way in hell was he going to have V of all fucking people tell him that he’s too dangerous when he couldn’t hurt a fly if he could help it, but then a crack rings out across the desert, followed by its echo as it reverberates around them, and it’s then for the first time Kerry sees the difference between the V he knows and  _ merc _ V.

V jumps to his feet, snatching up the sniper sitting on its bipod next to them with one hand and grabbing a handful of Kerry’s jacket in the other. He jerks Kerry behind him with an incredible amount of strength Kerry is not used to seeing, but when V presses him back, urging Kerry against the pillar of white rusted metal supporting the turbine above them, Kerry doesn’t fight back. V backs them up until Kerry is pressed between V’s warm back and the turbine’s column, then he leans forward, the sniper’s bipod propped up on the platform’s railing to support the long barrel.

“Stay still,” V breathes. He doesn’t sound angry, all heat from his voice earlier dropping away like a shroud from his corporeal form. Kerry has known V for months now, but he hasn’t known this V, and the stark difference between the two nearly scares him into compliance until his brain catches up to the situation. 

There’s nothing to be afraid of except the situation he finds himself in. V will protect him, one way or another, and then they’re getting the hell out of here and talking. Like men, not like lovestruck teenagers. Come hell or high fucking water, they were going to talk. 

_ “Sniper, about thirty degrees to your left, _ ” Kerry hears Panam say over a radio left at their feet.  _ “You can take him out, he doesn’t know where you are. Top of the trailer, beside the satellite.” _

“I have company,” V says back. His fingers are pressed to a collar wrapped around his throat — the transmitter for the radio. “I can’t shoot and risk exposure.” 

_ “Company?” _ Panam asks incredulously.  _ “V, who the hell is with you?” _

_ Who the hell is with you that you can’t take out a lone sniper? _ is what Kerry really hears, and he tries not to get angry about it as V presses his fingers to the collar again and responds. “Ker. I’m not going to risk him to take out this guy. We can take him out later.” 

_ “V, it’s one fucking dude —”  _

“And Ker is worth more than one fucking guy. We both know there’s more of them hiding in the hills, anyway,” V growls back. “End of discussion. We can find this Raffen hideout later.” 

Panam sputters, but V cuts the connection and tears off the collar before she can really dig into him. Kerry would feel bad if his heart wasn’t seven sizes bigger than it was before, and even still he has to stop himself from turning V around and kissing him as V packs his gear and hustles Kerry down the stairs quicker than he came up them. 

“She’s gonna kill you, y’know,” Mitch says in good humor when they join him at their cars.

He’s puffing on a cigarette while leaning on the bumper of his car, looking wholly unconcerned about the apparent Raffen problem V dragged himself out here to take care of. V just shakes his head, leading Kerry around to the back of his  _ Cthulu _ and dumping his stuff into it. 

“Just...” V sighs. Kerry can see it takes a lot out of him not to yell, even though V isn’t the yelling type. He came at a bad time, he knew it, but they needed to talk. V didn’t get to run away because he was uncomfortable. 

V sighs, meeting Kerry’s gaze. “Tell her I had more important things to take care of,” he says. “Ker’s more important than this right now.” 

Kerry wants to kiss him. He really does. But Mitch laughing and flicking away ash from his cigarette stops him only because Mitch is still a near stranger, even with how kinf his smile is when he turns to look at V. 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn ya, but sure, V. You go home. You should be there, anyway, if Kerry fucking Eurodyne comes out here looking for you.” 

“At least I made the proper impression,” Kerry says, only a little heated. 

Mitch’s smile is understanding. “Nah, I get it, rockerboy. You got a man to protect. Ain’t no shame in that.” 

Kerry feels his face heat despite the cool night breeze brushing against his skin. V nudges him, for once since seeing him out here smiling genuine and small. Kerry follows his hands to the driver’s side of the  _ Cthulu _ , where he reluctantly gets in and lets V hover at the open door. 

“You’re safer in this,” V says softly. “Follow me and we can talk at home, okay?”

“You actually gonna go home?” Kerry asks. “V, you came out here to run away.” 

V’s soft expression tightens.  _ Caught _ , Kerry thinks, though he doesn’t let his annoyance show. 

“I’ll come home,” V says finally. “We can talk. Us and — and Louise. All of us.” 

“V, this isn’t a fucking death march —“ 

“Just follow me,” V says. “Please, Kerry.”

_ Kerry _ . Kerry hated being  _ Kerry.  _ V had a way of saying it that was both completely lovestruck and so goddamn annoyed Kerry doesn’t understand how the guy has survived so long without getting decked in the face more often. As it is, Kerry sighs, nods and kicks the foot pedals to make his displeasure known. 

V sighs, too. He’s tired, Kerry can tell, exhausted from being fixed up and running himself ragged again. He isn’t so angry that he pushes V away when he leans down to kiss him, but it’s a very near thing, and V must sense it, because he lingers for far longer than seems polite with Mitch nearby. 

Kerry’s about to turn his head and make this a whole lot more awkward before V is straightening to his full height and stepping away. He melts into the darkness, only appearing again as a flash of headlights as he turns on Kerry’s Rayfield. Mitch is a similar gleam of yellow and fluorescent white, both their engines rumbling in the grey night, so Kerry retreats into V’s car and turns over the engine, waiting for V to lead him out, Mitch following close behind. 

Another Nomad vehicle — a Thorton — joins them a short drive later, flanking Kerry’s left side as if to shield him from the rest of the empty desert. Kerry follows the tail lights of his own car until both Panam and Mitch pull away when they hit asphalt, the squeal of metal and coiled shocks loud above the crush of dirt and gravel even in the noise of the  _ Cthulu’s  _ cabin. It all falls away once V leads him back to Night City, replaced with the rush of cars on the freeways and the distant, ever present chatter of gunfire in the milky yellow glow encasing the city.

Kerry’s ever-consuming feeling of dread only gets worse the closer to the villa they get. Logically, he knows his kids should be sleeping. This won’t be quite so awkward if they were. Louise was calm and understanding, if concealing her own secrets in the shade of her long lashes, but Kerry had some shadows, too. Some V hadn’t been able to chase away yet, and some that  _ were  _ V’s, burdens he had undertaken to lessen the load on his sweet mainline’s shoulders. 

V parks the Rayfield in it’s usual spot under the projected second floor, while Kerry backs the  _ Cthulu  _ into the pretty line of Quadras parked on his gravel front lawn. He gets out, feeling sick and dizzy, the feeling only dissipating when V makes a bee line for him instead of the front door. 

Being encased in V’s arms is like slotting himself into a place he hadn’t known he was missing before. So much had happened in the last few days — so much that Kerry had little time to process. V had been hurt, close to serious injury, closer to losing a limb or his whole fucking shoulder if he hadn’t been as quick on his feet as he’d been. V was fine now, if more banged up, but V  _ hadn’t  _ been, and to be here, breathing in the scent of gun oil and canvas jacket and V’s cologne that Kerry had bought months ago to hide the sickly copper tang of blood being coughed up in the shower — 

“‘M here,” V murmurs above him. Lips pressed into his hair, hands gently carding down Kerry’s nape, his shoulder, the line of his back. Kerry hadn’t realized how tightly he was clinging to V until V hisses a harsh sigh above him when his grip lessens. “I’m here, Ker. Ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

“Coulda fuckin’ called me,” Kerry growls. All that he’s wanted to say comes tumbling out, harsh and angry and so fucking  _ scared  _ — “Coulda sent someone. Coulda done a whole lot more than leave me the fuck alone to wonder if something happened to you.” 

His voice comes out strained and heartbroken, raspy in a throat that has long already suffered such abuse. He clings to V and V clings right back, unwilling and unable to let go.

“I’m bein’ serious when I say shit was fucked from the get,” V says. “Middle of fucking nowhere, Panam is too far away to call for help, and then I got cornered into a building fighting the biggest dude I’ve seen in my life —“ 

His breath comes in a hot puff against Kerry’s temple as he shakes his head. “Didn’t mean to ghost you. I was just trying to get home, that’s all.” 

“As if crawling your ass here came without help.” 

“Panam had to make sure the fucks we were fucking with didn’t come to bite her in the ass. She was protecting her people, Ker. I was conscious enough to drive.” 

_ Barely _ , Kerry doesn’t say. He presses his face into V’s chest, breathing him in before stepping back. V is smiling at him, albeit in pain. Kerry wants to punch him, but instead he rolls onto his toes and kisses him instead.

“Missed you,” he murmurs. V hums, melting just enough. Kerry’s hands slide around his hips, holding him in place, the world closing around them until it’s just the two of them. 

“Missed you too,” V murmurs back. A call and response as constant as I love you, something so ingrained into Kerry’s soul he can’t imagine living in this world without those three words.  _ I love you. Missed you too. _ Fuck. What a softy he has turned into.

“Don’t,” Kerry manages. “Don’t do that again.” 

“I won’t. I promise.” 

V sounds sincere. When Kerry steps back, his face is drawn, serious. Unafraid, even in the face of the very uncomfortable conversation they’re about to have. 

Kerry makes no move to impede the progress of that. He nods, then takes V’s hand and leads him inside. The kids are asleep, thankfully, but Louise is up in the entertainment room, curled up on the couch with a blanket tucked around her. There’s a movie playing on the big screen in front of her, but the volume is low enough that she almost immediately whips around at the sound of their shoes scuffing the floor. She’s up in an instant, her hands descending on Kerry first, eyes wide and worried. 

But then she shifts to V, and it’s like watching a mother dote on a wayward child. It’d be funny if she didn’t look so completely distraught, and Kerry has to reign in his own upset as V gets checked over with Louise’s careful hands. 

“Where did you go? Are you alright?” she asks quietly. The kids are sleeping, the rest of the villa dark. V nods as Kerry tugs them upstairs, Louise following without missing a beat. “V, you need to be careful. I saw what you looked like the other night.” 

“I know,” V sighs. He collapses onto the edge of the bed, and for the first time since seeing him earlier, Kerry sees the exhaustion lining his shoulders. “I was... I guess I was scared.”

Louise and Kerry share a look. It’s a look she’s given him far too many times for him to count, one that always precedes a long few hours spent talking and crying and finally coming to a resolution that both of them could live with. 

The last time it happened, it ended in his divorce. To face it down now, with V, was very nearly the same uneasy feeling, except instead of an unpleasant ending, Kerry was hoping for one more... understanding. 

“I... threw a lot on you earlier,” Kerry says. He sits down beside V, Louise coming down on his other side. V glances up, silver eyes a flash in the low light, making him appear cat-like. Kerry smiles as softly as he can, taking V’s hand. “I’m sorry. We should’ve talked before. Throwing you from the pan to the fire was... unfair.” 

“I don’t mind your kids,” V says quickly. “Ker, that’s not —“ 

“No, but it’s certainly not what you were expecting,” Louise cuts in. V turns to look at her, wide-eyed and scared. “For that, I’m truly sorry, V.”

"I -- wait," V stammers. "Wait, wait. You shouldn't be apologizing to me. I'm a fucking -- I fucking --  _ kill _ people -- I'm a thief, I shouldn't be in the same fucking house as your kids --"

He gets up, and it's clear V is panicking. Kerry tries to gently push him back down, but V is too fast in jumping away. Kerry hisses, snatching V's wrist, pulling him back towards him with a harsh breath.

"V, calm down," Kerry says quickly. He lowers his voice, taking a deep breath. V was panicking, he didn't need Kerry ordering him around. "V. It's okay. Calm down."

V manages a thick breath in. "I... fuck. Fuck."

"I know," Kerry says softly. "I know. It's okay. But it's not your fault. Neither of us are sending you away, got it? And neither of us are asking you to parent. This isn't your job. You're my mainline, that's all. Not the father to my kids."

V nods slowly. It's clear this is taking a long time to sink in, but eventually he sits down again. Louise very tentatively lays a hand on his arm while Kerry sinks back onto the bed beside him, his heart hammering hard in his chest. He should've known this was less about throwing everything on V at once and more about the very real possibility -- at least to V -- that Kerry was essentially asking him to settle down and act like a domestic boyfriend instead of who he was.

He tries to soothe that wrinkle before V can work himself tighter into a tense, coiled wreck. "'M only askin' you to just treat 'em like my kids," Kerry says quietly. "You aren't their parent, y'don't even gotta tell 'em what to do. Leave the parenting to Lou and I. You're hurt, you should be resting. Okay? Sound good?"

V nods. He looks at Kerry, taking a slower, more even breath. Then he looks at Louise, his expression falling into something more apologetic. 

"I'm sorry," V says tightly. "I... it's not that you don't have cute kids, but I -- I don't know what to do. With them. I... do dangerous shit. Not that I would around them, but --"

Louise's laugh is low and musical. "V, please. I know that. I told Kerry this already, but I know you're a good man. There's nothing you could do to hurt them. Just be yourself, and things will work out, alright? It's only for a week."

"I can go to Vik's, or Misty's," V offers. "I'm sure they won't mind me crashing on their couch for the week."

"No, you're staying here," Louise says sternly before Kerry can rebut. Kerry has to hide his smile in V's shoulder at Louise's harsh look. "You're hurt. You're sleeping right here. You don't have to do anything else besides rest. Got it?"

V nods, apparently on instinct. Louise's  _ obey me _ voice was powerful, and while Kerry was used to it, V was very clearly not used to being told what to do. He was a merc, afterall, and no one told him what to do.

He relents, though, and Kerry can feel him relax. He nods, letting out a long breath, looking up at Louise with something like amusement in his eyes.

"Thanks," he says quietly. "For that and... for seeing beyond the blood and stuff."

To Kerry's surprise, Louise leans down and very gently kisses V's hair. He's dusty and sweaty and smells too much like the inside of a hot car, but she doesn't flinch, just like she hadn't when she'd seen him broken and bloody on Kerry's bathroom floor. So much of this she has taken in stride already, and to do this was just another step on the path Kerry had been too stupid to realize was there before right now.

“There’s more to you than what I saw this past day,” Louise says gently. “More than what Kerry has told me. If you’d like, I’d love to get to know you more.” 

V looks at Kerry. Kerry has never seen him look so lost in his life, not even when V was broken and tired and rotting away under a ghost fifty years gone. At his worst, V had been hellfire and brimstone, on a mission to save his life even if it killed him — and it had. V had died that day, the V Kerry had known, but the difference between that V and the engram that became him was nil. 

Kerry didn’t care. He doesn’t know. He kisses V like he means to convey all that he feels and more, and something in him must achieve it, because when V pulls away, that frightened gleam in his eye isn’t there anymore. 

“I’d like to,” V says slowly. “If you’ll have me.”

Louise smiles so softly at them both. “Of course, honey. Now sleep. Tomorrow is gonna be a better day.” 

She pets his hair gently before descending back down the stairs. Kerry and V watch her go, only moving when the lights downstairs flicker off. V turns back to look at him, and now instead of fear or acceptance, Kerry sees a small but of hope. 

“I think you’re gonna be just fine,” Kerry says softly. He gently pushes back on V’s chest, laying him out on the bed. “Ted is a menace, but he’ll grow on you, I promise.” 

“I don’t want to explain what I do to them,” V says. He’s tired, Kerry knows, and is still fighting whatever life-born guilt building inside him. V has lived a hard life, one of grit and blood and sacrifice, and to explain it to children was like passing the worst of torches to a generation that was chosen to save them instead of doom them.

“I know, sweetheart, which is why you won’t be explaining anything. You’re just gonna relax, like Lou said, and enjoy the week. Okay? You can even sit out and chill here. I’m sure my kids will become a nuisance at some point...” 

Kerry gets up and tugs off V’s sneakers and jeans. V flings his jacket somewhere, leaving him in his filthy tee and boxers, but Kerry doesn’t ask for more. The wound on his shoulder still probably hurts, and in the dimness of the room, Kerry can see the gash running up his forehead, stapled together with bright white butterfly bandages. 

“Rest,” Kerry urges softly. “I’ll be right here.” 

V glances at him, grateful, as Kerry climbs in beside him. It doesn’t take long for him to drop off, exhaustion and the emotional toll of the day finally catching up to him all at once. Kerry doesn’t sleep for a long time, but when he does, it’s to the sound of V breathing beside him, short and shallow and with the promise of dreams behind his dancing eyelids.

***

Kerry wakes to V bent over the side of the bed, trying to tie his shoes with his injured shoulder and hissing curses under his breath that immediately makes Kerry smile. 

"Take it easy, baby," Kerry laughs, if a little groggily. He sits up, running his hand down V's bare back to get his attention. V sighs and sits up, the muscles underneath Kerry's hand bunching.

"Was tryin' to be quiet," V says. "I'm sorry for waking you up."

Kerry scoffs as much as he can while still blinking sleep away. The room is dark, the windows still tinted, but when he turns enough to tap his phone awake, the time is well past early morning. He can hear conversation downstairs, and he guesses that's why V is already awake and trying to get ready.

"Let me help you, then," Kerry says. "You got a hot date to go to?"

"With you, hopefully," V teases back. His smile is tense but genuine as Kerry scoots around him to kneel on the floor in front of him, tying V's shoes before standing. V gives him a more grateful smile as he does. "Louise... she wants to take the kids to the aquarium. She invited me."

Kerry wonders just how long V has been awake to have a conversation without him, but V is a grown man, and Louise seems to genuinely care about him, so he doesn't dwell on it. "You guys talk this morning?"

V nods. "I've been awake for a while. She bought me coffee."

He points to an empty Caliente cup on the bedside table. Kerry smiles, leaning down to kiss V before straightening and moving to the closet. Yeah, Louise liked V. That was good.

“Let’s get you into something comfortable, then,” Kerry says. V’s wardrobe is limited, but many of his shirts are soft enough from age that they won’t pull at the scrapes and stitches on his shoulder. V lifts his arms with a wince as Kerry pulls a grey heather shirt over his head, smoothing it gently over his better shoulder when he drops his arms again. “There. Now let us handle everything. Aquariums are pretty chill places.”   
  
V looks up at him as Kerry steps back to get dressed. His gaze is confused, and clearly he’s hesitating on saying something, but Kerry waits him out. He’s done wondering what words he should put in V’s mouth when clearly that hadn’t worked out for him the last couple days.    
  
“Ker,” V asks, voice small, “what the hell is an aquarium?”   
  
Kerry nearly breaks his neck whipping around to face V. V has grown up in Night City, has seen the worst this place has to offer, yet he doesn’t know what an  _ aquarium _ is?   
  
V’s face flattens when he sees Kerry’s flabbergasted expression. “Wait, wait,” Kerry laughs, quickly holding his hands up before V can really get mad. “I’m sorry. You just surprised me.”   
  
“Louise had that same reaction,” V says flatly. “She didn’t laugh, but she could see I didn’t know.”   
  
“It’s just -- holy shit, V,” Kerry says, still snickering. He pulls on his jeans and sits beside V, taking up his hands gently. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. It’s just, a big bad merc like you, stumped by an aquarium?”   
  
“I didn’t have the money for that kinda shit, Ker,” V says irritably. 

“Which is why you’re goin’,” Kerry assures. “I promise you’ll like it. It’s a… it’s a big zoo, basically. Full of fish and other marine animals. You can pet some, like rays and dolphins and shit. Kim is gonna have a blast, so I hope you’re up to a long day of walking around.”   
  
V’s shoulders relax at Kerry’s explanation. He seems much calmer now that Kerry isn’t antagonizing him, so Kerry leans down and kisses him again. V tips his head to accept him, and when they part, V is smiling so softly, crooked like it always is.    
  
Kerry loves his smile. Loves how easily it comes, loves how quickly he can please V over the smallest things. Each one is a reminder V hasn’t had the easiest life, hasn’t had everything handed to him like Kerry has. Kerry has lived a hard life, but it was so long ago he might as well have been a different person. Everything came at the snap of his fingers now, and he was determined to give all he could to V to see such small things like his eyes sparkle and his lips tug up in simple happiness just like this.    
  
V isn’t so cowed around Kerry’s kids this time around as they descend the stairs one after the other. Kim and Ted are playing video games on the couch, some cooperative game blown up on the big screen in front of them. Louise is standing nearby, sipping on a ceramic cup of coffee, and she’s the first to notice them as Kerry comes closer to greet her with a kiss to her cheek.    
  
“About time you woke up,” she teases as he leans away again. Her gaze is sharp as it snaps behind him to look at V. “V is an early riser, did you know that? Or were you just that tired?”   
  
“No, he’s usually awake before I am,” Kerry says. “Y’know, shit to do, things to blow up.”   
  
“Usually, yeah,” V says in good humor. At the sound of his voice, both of Kerry’s kids whip around, curiosity sharp in their dark eyes. V startles at the immediate attention pinned on him, and Kerry has to bite back a laugh as Ted’s eyes narrow from across the room, his glare palpable even from twenty feet away.   
  
“Is he coming too?” Ted says sharply. Kerry feels himself bristle. “We don’t need your boyfriend hanging around when mom didn’t bring hers.”   
  
“Knock it off,” Kerry says. “Remember our conversation from yesterday?”   
  
Ted’s glare flicks to Kerry. Kim smiles beside him as Ted’s face goes through the five stages of grief before settling on a resigned form of anger that Kerry was all too familiar with, but he wouldn’t back down, either. He was done being a deadbeat, and that meant stepping up and parenting his kids when he hadn’t been for the first sixteen years of this kid’s life.    
  
“Fine,” Ted eventually says. His stare pins on V again, who doesn’t shrink away this time. “I guess you can come.”   
  
“I’m glad I have your permission.” V’s dry tone makes Louise and Kerry glance at each other with a smile. “I promise not to get shot this time.”   
  
The surprise admission that he was more than he appeared makes Ted’s face twitch, but he carefully holds his tongue this time. Kim perks up, jumping over the back of the couch, dropping her controller onto the cushions as she zips from the game, to watching the conversation, to immediately back into the bubbly young girl Kerry knew she was.    
  
“Mister V, are you really going to be spending the whole week with us?” Kim asks. “Because if you are, I have a lot of questions.”   
  
Kerry sputters a laugh as Louise hides hers behind her coffee. “Mister V?” V says incredulously. “No, just -- just V, please. I -- no one’s  _ mistered _ me before…”   
  
“Well, you can’t just be V!” Kim’s face is a storm cloud, her fists balled up and poised on her hips as if she could scold a man as tall and strong as V. But she somehow accomplishes it, and V relents, holding up his hands.    
  
“Okay, then what should I be, then?” He glances back at Kerry, who raises a brow. He’s smiling so wide his face hurts, but he won’t say V’s real name if V won’t.   
  
Kim puts a thoughtful finger on her chin. “Hmm. How about Vivi? That way it sounds like a real name and not just a letter.”   
  
V’s face turns an adorable shade of red Kerry can’t get enough of. Kerry and Louise share another look before they’re pushing off the wall to flank V on either side, Kerry picking up V’s hand in his own and squeezing it.    
  
“I like it,  _ Vivi _ ,” Kerry snickers. V’s soft look turns dangerous as he turns it on Kerry, and Louise is trying valiantly not to break out into a laugh on his other side. “C’mon, it’s cute!”   
  
“It’s so much better than a letter!” Kim stresses. She’s so serious, and it makes Kerry smile wider. “You agree, don’t you?”   
  
She turns on Ted, and Ted jumps, his wide-eyed stare thinning as he glares at V. “Why should I care what he’s called? It’s a stupid name, anyway.”   
  
“Hey,” V snaps, suddenly angry.    
  
“Knock it off,” Kerry says again. He pulls on V’s hand, and V reigns in his tongue, stepping back. “Ted, please.”   
  
“It’s cute!” Kim insists. “Stop it, Teddy! Vivi is a nice person!”   
  
“Whatever.” Ted rolls his eyes and gets to his feet, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Are we going then, or what? We’ve been waiting for you to wake up from your beauty sleep, old man.”   
  
Kerry feels his face twitch, but he sucks in whatever smart remark was on his tongue.  _ Be better. Gotta be better. _ Instead, he forces his face into a smile, something nicer than what he feels burning underneath his ribs as every instinct to fight back bites behind his teeth. But nothing will change if he gives in to that urge, and Louise is looking at him as if she can see every inner conflict igniting inside him at once. Just that look douses anything he could have said, that and V’s hand squeezing in his own -- so he stops. Takes a deep breath. Doesn’t act on that bullshit attitude he would’ve had just a year ago.    
  
“I appreciate you guys waiting,” is what he says instead. He means it, even though there’s something coiled tight inside him that doesn’t want to. Ted looks taken aback, so Kerry surges forward. “I know I’m asking a lot of both of you, putting up with so much drama right now when you just got here. But I appreciate it. V is a nice guy, and we’re all here to have a good time.”   
  
“I really wanna see the dolphins,” Kim says. She’s completely unphased, and bless her, Kerry could have used her more in his life before now. He was such a fucking idiot. “There’s shows there and I know you can get us in if we want to.”   
  
“One step at a time,” Louise laughs. “We have a guest with us. Best behavior, all right?”   
  
She’s not so subtly looking at Ted, but Kim bounces on her heels, smiling. “Yes, yes! I can be. You’ll see, mama.”   
  
She marches right beside V and takes his unoccupied hand, and Kerry pretends not to melt at the sight. She’s comically small standing next to him, the top of her head barely coming up to his ribs, and V turns a stricken look on Kerry like he has any control over a thirteen year old so determined to make nice and get to know him. He simply shrugs, and smiles, and leans forward to kiss him as if that could alleviate any misgivings that may have happened in this already dramatic morning.    
  
“Let’s go see some dolphins, huh?” he says with a wink.

“Disgusting,” Ted says. “Let’s just  _ go _ .”   


Kerry smiles against V’s lips, and when he leans away, V is smiling back, small and bright like a star during a dark, dark night. 

“I’m ready,” V says quietly. “Let’s go.”

  
  


***

Kerry can remember the first time he saw the ocean.   
  
He was small. He doesn’t remember how old he was. Six or seven, maybe, barely old enough to swim on his own in the strong undertow of crashing waves and the ever-present beat of foam rushing up to cover his ankles. He does remember the smell of it though, the sand and the salt and the warm air clashing with the breeze brushing through his hair. He remembers someone who must have been his mother holding his hand, and someone who must have been his father paddling a surfboard out into the rush of water coming up to greet them.    
  
It’s a short memory. He’s known the ocean for as long as he remembers, as far back as that memory keeping familiar company in the far recesses of his mind. It comes back to him pretty frequently, now that he and V spend time on the yacht, wasting money and wasting time now that V has enough to spare. He remembers it when he sees the silver flash of fish right underneath the choppy surface, or when V jumps off the beach deck to join flocks of gulls diving to catch lunch. It joins many more recent memories, happy ones and some sad ones, ones filled with the sharp twang of his guitar and battery amps doing nothing to dampen his musical heart singing love songs up into the fresh, breezy air. 

The ocean is his home. He returns to it when he’s depressed, and always seems to find his way to it when circles come time to close. He falls back on that memory of V sitting across from him that evening on the  _ Seamurai _ far too often than he probably should, but it’s the first positive memory of the ocean he’s had in a long time. The first of many more to come, and the first of a line of firsts he intends to keep going as long as circles keep closing. 

He’d seen whales and dolphins and marlin and barracuda. Tiny fish, colorful fish, schools and schools of them on many countless dives into restored reefs and dead ones, too. Eels slipping through sand and rough rocks and rays gliding through the salty motes glinting across beams of sunlight like the water wasn’t even there -- like birds of their own, wings spread, maws open, catching microscopic meals that Kerry feels bad about disturbing. 

Sharks, too. Things with teeth and tentacles. Jellyfish floating at the ocean’s surface, just as deadly as the things lurking waiting to smell blood. All of it is beautiful, and all of it sits in a special place of his memory, locked far deeper than some memories he’d rather not come recalling.   


V has none of these things. He grew up in Night City with the ocean right beside him, with a world as vast and deep as the stars twinkling unknown stories up in the blanket of night right above them. There was so much V didn’t know about, so much that passed by him when he was growing up small and impoverished and bloodied. So much of his life was survival that he never got a chance to look at things that were so simple in their beauty, things that existed because nature allowed them to. 

(He was one of those things. V was power and beauty and heartache wrapped up in one broken package Kerry was privileged to carry in his hands now. He was trusted with this broken heart, and there was nothing in the world that would make him drop it. Nothing, not even V with a look of wonder so innocent on his face Kerry could cry.)

Instead, he takes Kim’s hand in his left, V’s in his right, and lets Ted and Louise lead the way through the glass halls of the aquarium. It’s a large place, with crowds of people gathering around exhibits and children weaving through legs as they dart from glowing glass walls to another. V stays pressed close to Kerry, tense and alert as if anything could snatch him up if he wandered too far, but his eyes are roaming everywhere, taking in the bright colors of reef fish in one exhibit and then the cool, muted bodies of nurse sharks in another, something far more amazing than wonder loosening his expression. 

“Oh, look!” Kim says, pointing. They come out into a wide, tall room, easily four stories tall with a giant wall of glass encasing a flutter of silver bodies rushing through the water as one. Sharks circle lower, and below them, bottom feeders puff and pick at the sand. Sound echoes in here, and Kim’s heels clack on the tile as her and Ted rush up to the exhibit to crane their necks up at the slice of nature safely plucked and placed into the atrium for them to view safely. 

“Ker, this is insane,” V mutters beside Kerry. “This is -- what the fuck is all this? How is it all kept in here?”   
  
“It’s just water, I promise,” Kerry says softly. He tries not to laugh, a near thing as he turns to watch V watch the fish. It’s a sight, his mouth slightly hanging open, silver eyes watching silver fish flick between rocks and kin like instinct drove them to move. It probably did, and there’s probably a lyric in there Kerry could use, but he lets it loose. “This is like -- where you come to see what you can’t on your own. All of this is in the ocean, but far out, where you can’t access it. This is to help teach kids what’s out there and to appreciate it.”   
  
“Or to occupy an afternoon,” Louise says beside them. She pats V’s arm, kind and encouraging. “It’s all right. I know it’s a lot, but this is just the inside. There’s a whole other part of the park that has bigger animals.”   
  
“They get bigger, great,” V mumbles. “What the hell is it called? A kraken? Am I saying that right?”   
  
Kerry and Louise share a look that really must show how much they want to laugh, because V’s expression scrunches up again. “What? I said it right, didn’t I?”   
  
“There is no such thing as a kraken,” Kerry snorts. “V, please. You’re alright.”   
  
“After this room, we go outside,” Louise says. “I promise it’ll be easier out there. There’s more to see and less of it is… closing around you.”   
  
V glances around warily, but he nods. Ted and Kim return, speaking between each other, Kim more excitedly but Ted has a slight smile on his face, too. He’s enjoying himself, so Kerry doesn’t butt in, allowing them to lead on as they follow the crowds of people meandering through the arched tunnels casting undulating shadows over them as fish pass overhead. V can’t seem to stop looking up no matter what, and more than once, Kerry plants a kiss to his jaw to bring him back down to Earth just for a moment or two of crystal clarity. 

“Doing okay?” Kerry asks. They’re passing under the last tunnel before the light from outside reaches them. V turns, his attention momentarily taken away from the belly of a shark dwarfing them overhead as it swims by. 

V’s smile is dazzling. Shy, but happy, like he doesn’t know how much wattage is behind something so small and simple. “Yeah, Ker. Just… it’s just a lot. At once. So much I didn’t know about, and all of it…”   
  
He gestures around him. Kerry gets it, he does. It’s a lot to take in, and it’s a lot to not know about when over half the planet was covered in water. V doesn’t answer after that, his words trailing away, anything he could have said being swallowed up by the curious gleam flashing behind those clever silver eyes.    
  
The tunnel opens up into the light of day, and people break off to go in different directions in the park, some going towards the food court Kerry can smell nearby and others towards the petting pools and ocean outlets where the whales and other intelligent animals are kept. Kim circles back to them, taking up Kerry’s other hand again, swinging them between her as she skips lightly beside them. Her smile is so big and radiant Kerry could die, but he valiantly fights off the urge as he swings their hands back just as enthusiastically as she does.    
  
“Can we go pet rays now?” she asks. “I didn’t get to last time, and I wanna show Vivi what they feel like.”   
  
Kerry hears V sputter beside him, but Kerry ignores him. “Sure, sweetheart, I’m sure he’d like that. Wanna take him and lead the way?”   
  
“I-I -- Ker,” V hisses. Kerry turns and raises a brow, then very gently tugs Kim in front of him by her hand. She goes with him, and when he links their hands with the one he was holding, V relaxes suddenly. It’s as if his body knows what to do when he has a child’s hand in his own, and Kerry could kiss him, he could, but people are starting to notice Kerry Eurodyne is at an aquarium with his kids and mainline, so he ignores the urge as the shutter of phone cameras click around them.   
  
“Just hold her hand and let her show you, baby,” Kerry says softly. “She won’t hurt you. She just wants to show you.”   
  
It doesn’t take much more convincing. V trusts him, loves him, and that extends to his children despite the absolute break this situation caused him the day before. Kim is careful with V was she leads him ahead, careful of his arm and of going too fast. She’s so intuitive, so curious, so kind while holding the hand of a killer like V -- it must show in Kerry’s face, because Louise is bumping an elbow against him, her smile small and knowing. 

“He’s great with kids,” she says. “I don’t see why he was so scared.”   
  
Kerry shrugs a shoulder. “Wouldn’t you be, with the things he’s seen?”   
  
Kerry follows V’s back through the crowd as Kim excitedly leads him ahead at an easy pace. He knows what V has seen, at least in some capacity -- he knows what V has gone through to survive in just the last year alone. That wasn’t counting what he didn’t know, the twenty three years stretching behind V in a bloody trail littered with dead friends and wounds scarred over by time and necessity. Kerry had his own, but he had money and fame to soothe them, where V had only the next day to survive through, and then the next, and the next.    
  
Louise threads her arm through his as they follow Ted following V and Kim. She has a thoughtful look on her face, something that’s been settling there more and more. People stop and stare — it’s been a while since the two of them have been together in public — but neither of them pay them much mind. The most Kerry does is glare when people try to turn cameras on his kids, especially Ted, but thankfully many of them are smart enough not to do so. 

Plus, Kerry likes to think his glare is pretty powerful. He’s had a long time to perfect it. 

The petting pools are further into the park, around a few bends and food carts that Kim passes and navigates with ease. Her memory is surprisingly good for having not been here for a few years, and without much impedance by gawkers, they find the tall shiny awning housing the pools just a couple minutes after leaving the aquarium. Smaller children and their parents clump together around the pools, kids squealing as they dip their hands into the cool water, older kids smiling and laughing as rays pass by their fingers in a smooth glide across the water’s edge. Kim dutifully leads V to an open spot, crawling up onto the concrete edge so she can get a proper look, urging V down onto his knees beside her. 

“Now, look!” she says. Ted comes around her other side, surprisingly calm, his hand reaching out to touch a passing ray. Kim points, and V looks a little sick at watching all these strange animals flitting back and forth between groups of hands stuck in the water, but he obeys her touch as she urges his hand underneath the water to wait for one to pass by. 

“Just let them come to you,” Kim says, a little softer. “They won’t hurt you, I promise.” 

“Might be a little slimy, though,” Kerry snickers. He crouches beside V, putting his hand in the water as well. V shoots him a disbelieving look that Kerry smiles at. 

“I feel like you guys are pranking me,” V says lamely. “This thing is going to bite me, isn’t it?”   
  
“No! It doesn’t even have teeth,” Kim laughs. “Watch, watch! Here one comes.”   
  
Kerry turns his attention off of V’s stars truck expression to the pool their hands are submerged in. The pool is filled with large cownose rays, their grey backs blending in with the sandy bottom of the pool as they glide underneath the water in a silent dance only they seem to know the steps to. A few break away from the pod swimming between groups of people to venture closer to their hands, their wings flapping slowly, and like it has no care in the world, one of them bumps up into V’s fingers, letting him stroke down the length of its back to its thin tail. And then it flits away, back to the group of other rays swimming circles in the pool, leaving V and Kim speechless as Kerry leans over to watch their expressions.    
  
V is so enamored that it takes him a few moments before he blinks and takes his hand out of the water. “That… was really cool.”   
  
“It was just a stingray,” Ted says on Kim’s other side. Kim elbows him, and he shuts up, apparently only able to listen when it’s his sister telling him to shut up.    
  
“It’s cool, right?” Kim says excitedly. She takes V’s hand and dips it into the water again, her whole body practically vibrating. “Try again -- they’re coming around to say hi!”   
  
Kerry can’t stop smiling as V does as he’s told, sticking his hand in the water to more confidently pet the rays as they pass by. They seem to enjoy it just as much as V does, arching their backs against his palm before darting back down and coming back for more. Kerry has pet all kinds of rays, with these being the ones he’s touched the most, but still the feeling of their silky skin against his fingertips is a marvel. They stay like that for almost ten minutes, Kim expositing facts about the rays and Ted actually participating in the conversation like a normal human being instead of a moody teenager. V is so entranced that he barely interjects, but Kerry knows he’s listening -- he can see the magnetic pull between V and his kids that so naturally forms like his own connection to them.   


It’s encouraging, after V’s freak-out the day before. He knew V had nothing to worry about, and he knew it would take only time to overcome everything else. But Kim’s natural charm was a form to be reckoned with, and already it had broken through the ice encasing V’s bruised heart, and here he was, holding her hand as they pet rays at a fucking aquarium.

Kerry’s sure his life could be a Hallmark movie right now, but he doesn’t dwell on it. Ted was even smiling, his own hands dripping with salt water as he stands after they’re done. Kerry hasn’t felt at ease like this in a very long time, and he’s happy he’s finally starting to settle into his life like he should have so long ago.    
  
“See? That wasn’t so bad,” Kim says as they’re walking back the way they came, heading to the food court. They’d pet some turtles, too, little things with bright marbled shells that V had been quietly marveling at as well. V hums his agreement, still rubbing his fingers together, his other hand gently cradling Kim’s as she bounces beside him.   
  
“Thanks,” he says to her. “For showing me. That was… really cool.”   
  
“There’s dolphins and whales and stuff too! And we can go see the sharks later, but you can’t pet them because they’re so big and they need a lot of water to swim around…”   
  
“Or they might eat you,” Ted teases. Kerry snorts a laugh, and Ted immediately whips around to glare.

“What? You  _ can _ actually act like a nice big brother, and it’s good to see,” Kerry says. “I saw that look on your face back at the petting pool.”   
  
Ted schools his expression into something that would probably be described as sour if Kim didn’t elbow him and smile up at him, radiant in her enthusiasm that melts even Ted’s rough exterior. 

“Ted had a good time, I can tell,” Kim says wisely. “He likes V, too. Don’t you, Teddy?”   
  
Ted’s face turns an impressive shade of red as he whips back around to hide it in the hunch of his shoulders. “Shut up, no I don’t!”

V laughs, low in his chest, as he reaches out to pat Ted on the shoulder. The movement is so natural Kerry has to remind himself that it’s probably forced casual contact on V’s part to make himself appear less threatening, and Kerry is quietly proud of him for it.

“I like you too, kid,” V says. “Don’t worry. This is probably the lowest you’ll see me at.”   
  
“Whatever,” Ted grumbles, but he doesn’t shy from the touch on his shoulder. Kerry and Louise share a look, smiling at each other -- maybe they won’t have to try so hard to get this weird dynamic to work, afterall. 

They find a spot that’s relatively out of the way, even with people following Kerry around trying to get a picture. He ignores them enough while still trying to be polite, which isn’t hard with his family surrounding him. People tend to be easier to battle off when his kids are nearby, and their lunch is easy and without interruption with audible phone cameras going off. He knows they are -- he can see them in the corner of his eye leaning around corners and family members to sneak pictures -- but it doesn’t stop him from teasing Ted or kissing V or picking Kim up to hug her tightly. He’s so happy that he just… doesn’t care right now. All the pieces of his heart are right here surrounding him, and he couldn’t ask for much more than that. 

V’s natural quiet charisma helps immensely as well. Kim is drawn to him like a moth to a flame, and she spends much of their lunch time turning his hands over in her own, inspecting the thin chrome lines crawling up his arms hiding the mantis blades underneath them. Ted is quietly curious on V’s other side, though there’s still a hint of heat in his eyes that doesn’t completely go away no matter how small V makes himself beside them. 

“So do you fight a lot?” Kim asks. Her nails are picking at a line of chrome on V’s forearm, prying but applying little pressure. V looks across the table at Kerry, who tips his knee underneath it to press it against V’s. A small comfort as well as an affirmation, and V smiles, turning back to Kim. 

“I used to,” V says honestly. “I’m… I’m a merc. People pay me to do stuff, and while I try not to hurt anyone, I have to protect myself. So that’s why I have these.”

The blade in his left arm snicks open, sliding forward from the housing around it as it folds away to reveal the black and silver mechanism that sends the blade forward in a fight. V keeps it mostly hidden, only the point coming across the back of his wrist for Kim to see before it’s all folding up again, his arm coming together in a silent press of pieces clicking back into place. 

Kim and Ted’s expressions are amazed mirrors of Louise and Kerry’s amused ones across the table. Ted’s cheeks are a little more flushed than before, and V looks extremely pleased with himself. Far more confident than he had been that morning, and looking more in his element with every passing second he sits there framed by Kerry’s kids. He wishes he could save this memory forever, but he doesn’t bother to pull his phone out to do so. There were plenty enough eyes around him stealing it for themselves. 

It’s Ted that speaks up first, his eyes wide and curious as he finally, for the first time since encountering V, takes his hand in his own to turn it over. The silver lines crawl up the inside of V’s forearm as well, an even, mirrored pattern across both sides, and just like Kim, his fingers trace up them until they get to the cuff of V’s jacket rolled at the elbow. 

“Did it hurt getting them?” Ted asks. He’s earnest, sounding much more like a sixteen year old should, rather than the angsty teen he wanted to be. Kerry has to press his fingers to his eyes to stop the tears from forming behind them at the sight of them. 

“Well -- no,” V says. “It’ll be a while before you can get implants, but you shouldn’t worry about stuff like this. I… hopefully you won’t need to get something like that.”   
  
“V has to protect himself,” Kerry says, a little tightly. His throat closes around the words, that burn of tears still threatening him at the corners of his eyelids. He feels Louise lay a comforting hand on his shoulder as he tenses and presses onward. “You won’t have to worry about it, though. It’s cool, but shit like that is dangerous. Remember that.”   
  
V nods. Kerry can see the years of street life reflected back in this grey eyes, in the way he doesn’t encourage something like this in people so precious and protected. Kim and Ted deserved better than V, deserved better than dirty gutters and the back rooms of sex clubs. Kerry can’t imagine the things V has seen and done to get where he is right now, but he can see it in the way V holds himself, in how he’s so careful around his kids. 

He wants so much, now, to have V alone. To tell him these things if not in words or song then at least in the call and response of their bodies knowing so much about each other, now. They could have a whole conversation without speaking a word, and with the flick of his gaze meeting Kerry’s, a whole new form of conversation passes between them without the need for touch. 

_ I’m alright _ , that look says. V is good at speaking, silver tongue and silver eyes. Kerry sees why he got them, understands why people were more willing to do as he says when those eyes pin him down and demand attention.  _ I’m not scared anymore. It’s fine. I’m alright.  _

Kerry can’t help but nod. They’re in a crowded park in a crowded food court with uncountable eyes watching them, and Kerry hasn’t felt more seen than he does right now. He nods, and V smiles, and everything finally rights itself from the dangerous tilt Kerry hadn’t noticed he’d been slipping down. 

“Let’s clean up and keep going, then,” Louise says. Her voice is gentle, breaking Kerry out of the silver vice of V’s eyes holding him down. Kerry swallows, and stands, and finally convinces his body to walk when V returns to his side with his hand slipping into his own. 

Kim and Ted warm up to V considerably after that. He’s proven himself to not be a threat, at least to Ted, and he’s coming to V with questions and comments and “look at this” and “isn’t that cool?” It’s obvious that this is all new to V, and both Kim and Ted are eager to fill that gap in V’s experience with ones of their own. Ted is more shy about it, but he still captures V’s attention with the call of his name (not Vivi, but it’s cute to hear Kim say it), and V is more than happy to give it where it’s wanted. He wanders from outdoor exhibit to outdoor exhibit, pulled between both kids like a well-loved toy, but he’s more than that. Kerry’s seeing it, seeing that connection forming, and it’s warming him more and more each time they turn to watch V smile and laugh and take it all in like water off a duck’s back. 

“I see it, I think,” Louise says softly. Kerry and Louise are walking far behind the other three, keeping a careful eye on them, but Ted and Kim couldn’t be any more safe than with V’s attention on them. Injured and tired, V was far more a threat than Kerry ever could be, and Kerry’s fine with that. 

“See what?” Kerry says. “I said he was hot, didn’t I?”   
  
Louise’s laugh is soft. “Yeah, your flirting is still awful. I meant what you see in him. Why you were so worried.”   
  
“Other than finding him bleeding and broken from a run in with a cyberpsycho?” But his needling has little heat, and he sighs. Louise meant more than just that. “Yeah, I… kid’s been through a lot. Been alone through a big chunk of it. I don’t think I’d be here if it weren’t for him.”   
  
The gun. The shower. The sharp scream of a guitar cutting through the haze, played by a shadow Kerry thought had finally won the gamble for his life. The first time he saw V, he was dirty and bloody and had a mean smile on his handsome face, a smile so angry there was no mistaking it for who had formed it on his lips. V’s hands hadn’t formed right over the frets, body forced low over the body of the guitar, and all Kerry saw that night was shadows, shadows, shadows. 

He tries not to think about what would have happened if Johnny hadn’t interrupted him that night. If V hadn’t agreed to pop some pills and play third wheel to Johnny’s long-overdue guilt.  _ You wouldn’t be here _ , some traitorous part of himself says, some part of him that sounds like Ted and Louise and Kovachek and the faceless scream of tabloids regurgitating all that he’d tried to battle back.  _ You wouldn’t be here. And V probably wouldn’t, either. _

“I think you give yourself too little credit,” Louise says thoughtfully. She threads their arms together again, patting his bicep with her warm palm. “You’re stronger than you think. You’re here, aren’t you?”

“Ah, yeah,” Kerry sighs. “Through a lot of trial and fucking error. I blew up a yacht, Lou.”   
  
“There was that.” Her laugh is lighter, more musical. “I think I remember you sending me a picture of it burning off the beach?”   
  
“At least I didn’t get V’s bare ass in the photo,” Kerry sighs. “He would’ve killed me.”   
  
“I don’t want to know. But I get it, Kerry, I do. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”   
  
Kerry sighs again and rubs his face with his free hand. “It’s not me I’m worried about. I’m -- he doesn’t want to be a dad. You should’ve seen him around his friend’s kids. It was like watching a deer in headlights for like four hours, Lou. The kid could barely breathe the whole time. And now that I’m gonna be having Kim and Ted in my life more…”   
  
Louise raises a surprised brow at him. “You’re gonna have them more now, huh?”

Kerry straightens, suddenly stuff. “Look -- if you’ll let me. I know I’ve been a real royal fucking jackass before, but --”   
  
Louise laughs again. She’s so beautiful when she laughs, and Kerry has to stop himself from falling down at seeing her so happy. He wishes, in some part of him, that he wasn’t so fucking stupid before and had done more to make her happy when things mattered. 

“Kerry, I’m fine with you having the kids. I  _ want _ you to have the kids. They should see their dad.” She pats his arm again, her expression falling into something a little more solemn. “There’s… they need you. More than I’ve been letting on.” She sighs, looking away to V holding Kim’s hand and following Ted’s pointed finger to something over the next bend in the path. “There’s something I need to say, Kerry.”   
  
Kerry has a feeling he knows what she’s going to say, but he waits her out. She doesn’t leave him hanging for long even as she obviously struggles to get the words out. “My fiancé, he… we decided to call things off. Work on ourselves for a while before coming together again. I wanted to tell you over the phone, but I just -- needed to get away, I think. Away from everything.”   
  
Yeah, he figured. “I would’ve liked some warning, but it’s alright.” Kerry gestures to V ahead of them. “I just have a bit more responsibility now, but it all worked out. I’m sorry, about Jean. You really love him?”   
  
“Yeah, but it can wait,” Louise says. “Our kids matter more.”   
  
Kerry feels himself bristle. They matter more? Was something going on?   
  
Louise beats him to it by shaking her head with a flat smile on her face. “No, Kerry. Nothing that bad. Nothing with me, either, though he could be a jackass. You both have that in common.”   
  
“Thanks,” Kerry mutters, though she’s not wrong. 

“I can see you’re changing, though, and that’s great. So just… just know you have my blessing, alright? That I like V. And the kids seem to like him, too.”   
  
Kerry tries not to explode with how happy hearing her say that makes him, and it’s a near thing as he takes her in his arms and squeezes her close. She laughs and hugs him back, kissing his cheek when they part, and Kerry really could die right now. He’d die happy, happier than he’s been in a very long time, but instead he sets Louise down -- because he’d picked her up, he was so happy -- and threads their fingers together to squeeze her hand instead. 

“I haven’t got that far, but it’s appreciated,” he manages after a few calming breaths. He wants to kiss V, but Kim is begging for a piggy back ride, so Kerry lets them be. V eventually relents, kneeling down to easily take her weight on his back, wincing only a bit at her arms squeezing around his injured shoulder. Kerry turns to Louise and smiles at her, and she smiles back, a million bucks and more reflected right back at him. 

“Let me know when you do, okay? I want to be there for it,” she laughs. “I think he’d look great in white.”   
  
_ He looks great in nothing at all, too _ , and Louise must see the thought cross his mind, because she smacks him in the shoulder before letting him go to join their kids. Kerry does as well, falling into step beside V as he effortlessly carries Kim around the bend towards a tall glass building Ted is leading them towards. 

“It’s a butterfly house!” Kim says excitedly. “Oh, Vivi, you’re going to love this so much! There’s so many pretty things in here, and you can hold them, too!”   
  
“Thankfully, I know what a butterfly is,” V says, his mouth ticked up in a grin. “Never held one, though.”   
  
Kim squirms until V kneels again to let her down. “You can’t pet them like the rays or the turtles, but you can let them land on you,” she says. “You gotta be really still, though.”   
  
Ted opens the door for all of them, and for once when he turns around, he isn’t glaring. Kerry scrubs his hair as he passes by, unable to stop himself. “Thanks, buddy.”   
  
Ted shrinks under the attention, but again, he doesn’t glare. V has effectively melted him, and Kerry is only a little jealous that it was V and not him, but at this point he won’t pick and choose. Ted is relaxing, and that’s all he cares about. 

“Just don’t get used to it,” Ted mutters.    
  
Kerry snorts and waits for the others to pass him until Ted returns to his side. “Admit it, you like V.”

“He’s --” Ted turns another shade of red that is just. Hilariously adorable. He scrunches up his shoulders, hiding in the hood of his jacket again as they pass through the plastic divider designed to knock off butterflies from people’s clothes before they can escape. “He’s… okay, I guess.”

“Just okay?” Ted flicks a glare up at him, and Kerry raises his hands. Ted is talking to him, and it’s not an argument for once, so he’ll take it. “Alright, alright. He’s just okay. That’s fine with me.”

Ted huffs and rushes up to follow at Kim’s side. They reach the end of the tunnel separating the butterfly house from the outside, following the backs of other people as well as Louise and V ahead of them. Kerry returns to V’s side, taking his hand again, matching V’s soft smile as he turns to give it to him. And then, without much more preamble, they emerge into the butterfly house, the rush of water and hiss of leaves brushing up against each other as the space opens up into a tall, wide forest filled with the floating forms of insects lilting around them on an invisible dance all their own. 

V is… floored. Kerry can see it as he watches him tilt his head back to watch the butterflies fly above and around them, seemingly aimless in their direction but still beautiful anyway. Kerry tries to take it in, tries to absorb this final slice of nature placed here for their enjoyment, but it’s hard to with V beside him, taking it all in for the first time. They follow the stone path, meandering slowly, Kim and Ted and Louise only a few steps ahead as people move through in a wandering pace. There’s butterflies of all shapes and colors and sizes, some resting on leaves of trees just over the roped-off edge of the path, others gliding from place to place, on a path only they seem to understand. V takes it all in, head lolled back and lips slightly parted, and there’s a song, here, too, something tugging at heartstrings and familiar beats. 

Kerry leaves it alone for now. There will be time, later, when he can write it down and give form to feeling. For now, he takes it in, absorbs it like he should, lives in the moment as V does. Walks beside him and watches as wings in iridescent colors fill his vision as effectively as silver eyes do every time they turn on him. 

They get to a wide clearing of concrete where little plaques on wooden beams describe the many species living here, and Ted and Kim make a dutiful circle around with Louise not far behind them. V stops near the edge of the clearing, and Kerry follows him, their hands linked, Kerry still dumbstruck by V’s expression and V still very much in wonder as he continues to crane his head around, only looking down at Kerry when he feels him nudge his side. 

“Having a good time? I know it’s a lot,” Kerry murmurs. He gestures around them with his other hand, meaning… everything. “The kids are having a good time with you.”   
  
V nods slowly. “Yeah, Yeah,” he says. Quietly, still so quiet. Kerry can see the unease in his expression melting away as another butterfly floats by them. “It’s… wow. I never knew something like this existed. I never got to do stuff like this as a kid, and then with Vik, it was just… learning to be an adult. Nothing like family outings or trips to zoos or…”   
  
“I get it,” Kerry says. “There’s -- you don’t gotta explain. I know it’s new, I know it’s probably too much, but as long as it’s a  _ good _ kind of too much, then --”   
  
“Ker, it’s perfect,” V laughs. Low, private. V bends down to kiss him and Kerry could melt through the crust of the Earth he’s so happy. “I’m having a good time. Kim and Ted are nice, and all of this is beautiful. I’m glad you’re showing me. I’m glad I… didn’t take off, like I wanted to, yesterday.” V’s expression flattens a bit, guilt hiding there behind his eyes. “Thanks, for coming out there to get me.”   
  
“Yeah, I wasn’t going to let you angst out there.” Kerry nudges him again, his smile a little wider, more amused. “Ted gets all the real estate on angst. You don’t get to have any.”   
  
“Fair enough,” V snorts. “I guess I can live with that.”   
  
“Okay, now look, look!” Kim suddenly says. She comes bouncing up, taking V’s and Kerry’s hands and pulling them forward down the path again. Ted and Louise follow, and then Kim is shoving them together into a little nook surrounded by trees and the trickle of water from a little waterfall nearby. There’s a huge amount of butterflies here, so many shapes and sizes floating on the warm breeze, and then Kim pulls them to a stop, her hands halting them in their steps.    
  
“Now stay still,” she whispers. She freezes, and Kerry does as well, with V a warm still line against him. Kim looks up at V, smiling, as all three of them stand in a triangle together. 

Kerry knows what she’s getting at. V tilts his head, silently questioning, but Kerry shakes his minutely. “Just wait,” he says softly. “You’ll see.”   
  
V purses his lips, but he’s still grinning. He waits, and for a few minutes, nothing happens. The butterflies seem to ignore them, passing them by as if they’re simply in the way instead of three humongous creatures wondering at their small existence. Kerry has done this before, and Kim is practically vibrating with her excitement, but they wait. V is good at waiting, his sniper’s patience lending him far more strength to stand there in the rush of silent wings beating around them. 

Kerry is not so patient, though he doesn’t have to wait too long after he feels himself start to fidget with V’s fingers. The first butterfly floats down from a branch high above them, silver and green wings beating only once as it lands on V’s shoulder. Kerry gives V a look with his eyes to stand absolutely still, and V does, brow raised, until understanding comes across his expression. Another lands on him, this time in his hair, and then a few more as something seemingly passes through all the insects in the area that tells them that V is safe.

It’s like watching the eighth wonder of the world take shape right in front of his eyes. One after another, butterflies perch on V’s shoulders, his ears, one confident on coming down to rest on the shell of his ear. Big ones, small ones, black and grey ones and ones so bright it‘s hard to look at them. They come down to his forearms, and then to Kim’s hair and her shoulders, too. Kerry feels a few touch his shoulders, their wingbeats so soft the sensation is barely there. It feels like a kiss every time one bats their wings, and Kerry has to try and not laugh with the feeling as more and more come down to cover his arms, too.

“What is this?” V asks quietly. His breath doesn’t disturb them, thankfully, and Kerry very slowly shakes his head. 

“It’s magic,” Kim whispers. “Look -- there’s so many!”   
  
She’s covered in them when Kerry chances a glance down at her. It makes him snicker -- this is a dream come true for her. She loves all things small and beautiful, and this is no different, either. But his attention is quickly stolen by the man in front of him, by the myriad of colorful insects sitting so gracefully across the broad line of shoulders and the fluffy spikes of his hair. He’s seen V in a myriad of different ways, with blood streaked across his face and so sick and gaunt it’s a wonder he’s standing here right in front of him. But this is amazing, a beauty all his own, created just from stillness and patience. Kerry is reluctant to break it, this moment, even though he knows they have to move on through the exhibit like everyone else. 

Kim seems to sense this, and with a graceful shake of her head, all the butterflies sitting on them lift into the air all at once. The sound of them flapping their wings is similar to leaves hitting the ground during the fall, a soft, unmistakable sound, something delicate and without much comparison beyond it. They fly off, resuming their floating dance up unto the high branches in the trees, and while Kim watches them go with an amazed look on her face, Kerry has eyes for nothing else by V right in front of him. 

“See? Magic,” Kim giggles beside them. Kerry hums, and then Kim dances away, returning to Louise at the call of her name. Kerry thanks whatever is watching over him for his ex-wife as she leads both Ted and Kim away, down the bath again and around the corner. When they’re gone, Kerry surges forward and kisses V, who smiles against his lips with a small laugh. 

“You have no idea the fucking picture you made just now,” Kerry says when they part. He’s breathless and likely red-faced, but he doesn’t care. That was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in his long life. 

“I think I can say the same for you,” V says. His smile is wide, toothy. Kerry kisses him again because he can. “That was really cool. Like -- so many little touches, like a breeze. I see why Kim likes them.”   
  
Kerry pulls him close, burying his face in the warm crook of V’s neck. V wraps his arms around him, hugging him tight, and once again Kerry is struck by how at home he feels in V’s arms no matter where he is. 

“Thank you, for coming,” Kerry says against his skin. “Thank you for giving my family a chance.”   
  
He feels V hum against his cheek, less a sound and more a vibration against him. “I’m sorry for freaking out.”   
  
“You don’t gotta apologize, V, seriously. I get it. If I were in your shoes and my mainline dumped all of this on me at once, I think I would’ve freaked out, too.”   
  
V huffs into his hair. They step away from each other, but they still find each other’s hands, magnet to magnet. V’s smile is small, but bright, and Kerry can’t get enough of counting every single one even though he gave up counting months ago. 

They meet up with the kids and Louise at the end of the path, right next to the exit of the butterfly house. Two attendants check them all over for any lingering butterflies, and when none are found, they’re allowed to exit. Louise is smiling knowingly, and Kerry doesn’t bother to hide his own lovestruck expression as they walk out into the cooler breeze of the afternoon. 

Kim wants to go to see the whales and dolphins, so they break off to join the bigger groups of people heading to the mouth of the bay the aquarium is built into to watch them breach the waves before swimming out into the inlet. Captivity of intelligent creatures had been outlawed a long time ago, so while it’s not as spectacular as watching a dolphin show where they do tricks, it’s still nice to see, and Kim gets her fill of it pretty quickly. She tugs them along again, to the next exhibit and the next one. Her enthusiasm is infectious, bleeding into all of them like the sweetest of drugs. The rest of the afternoon passes slowly in the best of ways, and before Kerry knows it, they’re piled back in his car, heading home with V, Ted, and Kim dozing in the back seat. 

V wakes when they pull up the driveway, some instinct inside him sensing the familiar hum of the Rayfield winding down as it parks at the head of the Quadras. Without being prompted, he picks up Kim in his arms, gently holding her against his chest even with his injured shoulder, shaking his head when Kerry goes to take her from him. 

“I got her,” V says softly. Ted yawns and stretches behind him, exiting the car groggily. “You order dinner, okay?”   
  
Kerry looks at Louise, who shrugs with a smile. He locks the Rayfield then follows his family inside, his eyes never truly leaving V’s back as he meanders into the entertainment room and lays back on the couch with Kim still in his arms. 

Ted collapses next to him, pressed up against his side, and again Kerry is taken aback by change in his son in just a day. He orders food with a dumbstruck look on his face, Louise silently laughing at him as she pours herself a glass of juice and joins her kids and V on the couch. Ted is tapping away on his phone, still blinking slowly, and V has his eyes closed as he breathes deep and slow. He’s probably asleep, and on his way to sit down, Kerry bends over the back of the couch to kiss his hair, lingering with his lips on his forehead.    
  
“Had a good time,” V mumbles. Voice rough, slow. Tired, but happy. Kerry smiles as he sinks into the cushions on V’s other side, slowly moving Kim off his lap and into his. 

“You did great today,” Kerry says. “With the animals and with the kids. Though, I don’t see the difference sometimes.”   
  
Ted snorts, the first sound of sarcasm from him in a long few hours. He doesn’t say anything else, still scrolling on his phone, but he doesn’t move away from V even when the merc stretches out his limbs, groaning as the tension of the day finally melts out of him. 

Yeah, Ted may have a crush. That was a problem for future Kerry and Louise, even as their eyes meet across the room and Louise gives him an arched brow that says  _ I know exactly what’s going on and I don’t know if I should be scared for V or for Ted at this point _ . 

V smiles lazily as Kerry gets up and puts Kim to bed. She rolls over, snuggling into her blankets, and he silently flips the lights off in her room before coming back out to the couch. V has put distance between himself and Ted --  _ Thank you, V, for your incredible insight and intuition, I could kiss you _ \--  and is now lounging in the bend of the couch, his feet kicked up on the coffee table. Kerry ruffles Ted’s hair again, this time not stopping even as he squawks and tries to fight him off.    
  
“Kerry, stop!” Ted says. He flails, knocking Kerry’s hand away, his cheeks flushed as he whips around to glare. Kerry simply smiles, and Ted glares harder as Louise chuckles behind her hand. “ _ Stop. _ I’m not twelve anymore.”   
  
“Ah, coulda fooled me,” Kerry snickers. He hops over the back of the couch, settling beside V with a quick kiss to his cheek. V cracks an eye open, that lazy grin still on his face, that sharp silver gaze never really leaving Kerry as he turns to face his son again. 

“You’re insufferable,” Ted mumbles. “And disgusting.”   
  
“Ted, knock it off,” Louise says.    
  
“They’ve been kissing each other  _ all day! _ ”

“And I’m going to be kissing V all fuckin’ week, so get used to it,” Kerry says. “You never kiss a boy before?”   
  
Ted turns an interesting shade of red. Kerry and V both perk up at the sight, while Louise shakes her head, laughing silently.    
  
“Shut up,” Ted grumbles. He gets up, snatching his phone. “You don’t get to know that.”   
  
He stomps off to his room, the effect ruined again by the hiss of the door opening and closing. Kerry can’t help gawking after him, then he looks at Louise, who just shakes her head again. 

“He has a boyfriend back home,” she says. “He looks a lot like V, actually.”   
  
“This explains so much more than I thought it would,” Kerry says slowly. The instant attitude change made so much more  _ sense _ now! Louise raises her glass as if in toast to his realization, and V chuckles beside him, pleased as pie. 

“He’s a nice kid,” V says. He shrugs when Kerry turns a raised brow on him. “What? He scares the shit out of me, but he really is nice. He’s kind of like you with the rough exterior and soft heart.”   
  
“V’s right, you know,” Louise says. She smiles sagely, even though Kerry does his best to glare. Neither of them are wrong, though -- the lyrics in his notebook would have had his ass reamed six ways from Sunday back in his Samurai days. There had been no room for love songs when the establishment needed blowing up. 

The doorbell chimes, and the next hour is spent feeding the kids and having a very domestic dinner together there in the entertainment room. V is quiet, but Kim asks him question after question, never really letting him fade into the background. Kerry and Ted finally have an even-headed conversation that doesn’t end in a shouting match, and Kim reads V’s fortune from the lines on his hands, which he is very attentive to. 

“One of my friends is a fortune teller, you know,” he whispers to her. Her expression lights up, brighter than a Christmas tree. 

“Can I meet her? I bet she’s so cool,” Kim says. “Oh, please tell me we can meet her!”   
  
“Maybe later,” Louise laughs. She gets up, petting Kim’s hair. “But now it’s late. Let’s tell everyone goodnight and then go get ready for bed, okay?”   
  
Kim whines, but she’s visibly tired, and doesn’t put up much resistance. She gets up from where she’d been curled against V’s side, leaning over him to hug him around his shoulders. She’s so small compared to him, and yet his arms coming to hug her back are just perfect.    
  
“Sleep well,” V says to her. “We can always meet my friend later.”   
  
Kim nods solemnly. “Okay. Goodnight, Vivi.”   
  
V’s smile is warm. “Goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning.”   
  
Kim hugs Kerry and Louise, and with a slow wave, she disappears into her room. Ted is quiet in retreating to his room, but he does hug Louise, which is enough as far as Kerry’s concerned. They didn’t argue one time, and again, Kerry counts it as a win. Things are turning around, slowly coming back from the tide they’d been pushed under. Pieces were falling into place, and V was a very big piece that finally was moulding to Kerry’s rough edges completely. 

Louise gets up, her hands coming down to rest on either side of V’s face as she kneels in front of him. It’s a gesture that freezes both him and Kerry, and if Kerry didn’t know any better, he’d think V was frightened. 

“I want you to know how grateful I am for you,” she says. V’s stare flicks back to her, and the solemnity of her eyes must keep him there, because he doesn’t move away from her after that. “For you being here for Kerry. For being here for my kids. I truly am grateful to you, V.”   
  
V swallows thickly, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I, uh. You’re welcome.”   
  
Louise kisses his cheek and then stands. “You have nothing to worry about. Get some rest, both of you. I’m sure Kim has something else on our itinerary tomorrow.”   
  
She leans down and kisses Kerry’s hair, and at her touch, Kerry feels life returning to his limbs. He gets up, hugging her tightly, but she smiles and turns him towards the stairs to the bedroom before he can get a word out. He can see on her expression that something has settled for her as well, and for now, Kerry won’t pry. 

V follows him up into the bedroom, the lights turning off in the entertainment room below them as they clear the landing. Kerry reaches a hand out and V takes it, allowing himself to be pulled closer, Kerry’s hands sliding around his waist to hold him as V returns the embrace.

“Thank you,” Kerry murmurs. There’s so much to thank this man for. So much he has to say that gets stuck in his throat, but at least there’s that. There’s that. “Thank you, so much, V. For all that you did today.”   
  
“I’m sorry for not seeing it sooner, how much this means to you,” V says. “I got scared and… and yeah. Just. I’m sorry.”   
  
“V, I told you to knock it off.” Kerry pinches V’s side, only a little sorry about it as V winces. He was still hurt, and V didn’t need much more needling after today. He’d had to put up with Kerry’s kids, and that was torture enough. 

“Yeah,” V laughs quietly. “Just… yeah. You’re welcome. And thank you, for letting me in.”   
  
“It doesn’t have to be your life, but it’s yours, if you want it,” Kerry says seriously. He looks up at V, then pushes him down onto the bed so they can sit next to each other and properly see each other. “I mean it. You can still be yourself, but this, my kids, this life… I want you to be a part of it. Even just as my mainline.”   
  
V nods. He can’t quite meet Kerry’s eyes, but he can see V means his acquiescence. V never did anything by halves, certainly not now and not before, and Kerry knows he’s not twisting his arm, either. This was something V wanted to do, and Kerry can see in his mind’s eye how nice he’d been with both Ted and Kim, how naturally they were drawn to him, how easily they interacted with him. 

He may not be step-dad material, not yet -- there was too much in V that wanted to live his own life still -- but Kerry can see the need to slow down. So much of V’s life had been hard and fast, and he was still suffering under the effects of the relic removal. He’s a day out from being crushed by a cyberpsycho. He’s not nearly out of the woods just yet, and this was just one more admittance that maybe he needed to take a step back and let life meet him halfway for a change. 

Finally, V’s eyes meet Kerry’s, and Kerry feels some unsettled part of him relax. This was the newest part of his heart, a V-shaped part that was still settling alongside all the other parts that have long grown to be whole. V smiles, and nods, and every worry Kerry could have possibly had melts away like so much rain down a dirty gutter in Night City’s neon streets. 

“I’d like that,” V says softly. “I can’t promise anything, and I really, really don’t think I’m dad material, but… I’d like to see how this works. I want to be a part of your life, and this is a part of you, Ker. I want to see where I fit in it.”   
  
“V,” Kerry sighs. “V, you’re already a part of it. You’ve always been. I’m just -- so fuckin’ happy you want to stay. I love you. I love you a fuckin’ lot, V.”

His throat scratches, voice hoarse, and already he can feel tears threatening at the edges of his eyelashes. He pulls V close, hugging him tightly, dragging him against himself to feel every stuttering breath and whispered word. He’d give up a lot for V, would give up his entire world to make sure this one man was alive and breathing, but he’s so happy that for once, he doesn’t have to do that. No shadows chase him down back into hiding, no ghosts or sad guitars battle him into the dark, deep corner he’d dug himself into. Nothing shows up to remind him of should-of-beens, nothing but V, and V’s warm arms around him, and V’s promise to stay. 

V rocks back, dragging Kerry down with him. “Love you too, Ker,” he says. A vow, said between them both on the backs of heartfelt heartache. He doesn’t say more, and that’s fine. They’ve said enough. Kerry is content, and he falls asleep like that, soft words following him down like so many beats of butterfly wings. 


End file.
